Reasons

Reasons why I should try to keep fit.

1. Need to fit in my old clothes.
2. Need to fit in new clothes, so that I can enjoy shopping again. When I was a student I always wanted to shop for nice clothes but I cant afford to since I don’t have money, when I started working a getting my own money I still cant afford to shop for clothes because it wont fit me. Now that my salary is much higher than before I still cant afford to shop for clothes because I have a daughter to support and the clothes still wont fit on me.



3. I'm not socializing anymore because I don’t want my old friend to see how I look now. You see back in high school and college, I'm really pretty and sexy, I was ramp modeling and all, joined and won some pageant. So everybody’s memory of was the tall pretty and sexy lady. Not anymore with 50lbs weight gained, I'm still tall, pretty, sexy? I don’t think so. Because of that I even feel that I'm not pretty anymore.
4. I want to feel more healthy, Id like to run around with my daughter without getting tired.
5. I want to enjoy life more.
6. I’d like to swim with my daughter. Our family always goes to hotels and resorts, unfortunately I stopped going swimming simply because I don’t want to see my self in those swim suits. I use to look really good in it, but not anymore. One time, its was Jea’s 3d birthday and we went to Club Malarayat, she asked me if I could go swimming with her. Again I said no, she asked me why. I said, I cant because I don’t like to wear swimsuit. She asked my why not. I answered, because I’m too fat already, I don't look good in swim suits anymore. The last time I went swimming with her was her 1st birthday, which was a pool side party. But just last week July 25. I was able to go swimming with her, We went to Punta de Fabian in Barras Rizal, and she was so happy. We played in the water, I even brought her to the Jacuzzi and she liked the bubbles so much. I was able to swim wit her, not because I lost some weight but because, we are the only ones in the resort. As I put that swim suit, I didn’t want to look in the mirror, but I told myself, I owe it to my daughter, I owe it to her that I give her more importance than just thinking of what other will think when they see me. Sure, they might secretly whisper insulting words on how I look, but it will never go at par on how good I feel when I her my daughter scream for joy, or her laughter when I took her swimming. She was just so happy.
7. I’d like to look good, so that in case I’ll bump in to my exes, I can have my head high and let them drool in my beauty. Ha!
8. Because I don’t want to pity my self anymore.
9. Because I would like to look at the mirror everyday and be proud of what I see.
10. Because Id like to look good in pictures. I don’t want to see myself looking awful in memories that we will keep forever. I looked awful in my brothers civil wedding, I cant even look at myself, I don’t want to look awful in his church wedding in the December.
11. Lastly, because, I'm beautiful and will be such a waste if I let myself look ugly only because of my weight. But I still believe that I’d rather be chubby and pretty that be sexy but ugly. The weight can just go off in perseverance and discipline to exercise and eat right. But for ugliness the only thing they can do is surgery.

So I'm still proud to be chubby, at least no matter how weight I add on to myself, I'm not gonna get ugly.

Time to start

I got slight fever last night and because of this im not eating as much as I always do. And I stumbled on Lizziness while blog hopping, and I read some of her diet goal plans. Suddenly, I got inspired to go on a diet as well. I gained about 60lbs from the time before I had my daughter. My normal weight should be around 135lbs since I’m tall. I believe im now about 180lbs++ , don’t know exactly since I haven’t weighed myself in years. Actually I didn’t gain weight when I was pregnant, in fact I actually lose about 20lbs for the first 7months. I only weighed around 140lbs when I gave birth, that’s already including the baby, and all the other slimy thingy in my tummy with the baby.

Before I got pregenant, im actually on the heavy side already, at least for my standards at that time. Since I was ramp modeling back in the olden days, I’m used to weighing about 100lbs for my 5”8” height. So by calculations, you can already see that I’m underweight. Going up at 120lbs is already fat for me at that time. Then, I focused on my studies, quit modeling. Then focused on my thesis, quit sports and exercise. Then I focused on my board exam, quit diet, exercise all together. So, after all those things, without even noticing I’m already 130lbs, still not bad. In fact its, ideal for my height.

Then I fell in love, got pregnant, lost my boyfriend, lost my job, lost my friends, got depressed, got paranoid, got lazy, got angry, got all the problems in the world. And who was there to keep me sane? Other than my family, my beautiful baby and some new friends, Ice Cream was there for me. I got a job in a shopping mall as a mall architect. With all the bad food very accessible to me, I didn’t other to stop, ate, ice cream almost everyday of my life, all the other delicious food just right in front of me everyday.

So there, I gained 50lbs, while working in that mall. 50lbs in 1 year. Then I left the mall, got another job, then another, then, another. I didn’t lose the weight, just kept on gaining some more.
Now, I’d like to be fit for so many reasons…