Prom at 30

Day 1 part 2 The 2 person that I’d like to see would be little J and daddy. So I already saw little J, its time to see daddy. That afternoon, after all the shopping, I was with little J and mama when he called. First thing he asked me was, “what are you wearing?” haha. Don’t think of any sleazy thoughts, he asked me if I am dressed appropriately because we will go to Sofitel hotel. So I was shocked, Sofitel? Why what for? Then he just told me to dress up nicely and he will meet me later. So, I went home took a shower and dressed up. Still doesn’t know what he is up to. I am thinking maybe he arranged a nice dinner date since that was one of his dreams to bring me to a nice romantic dinner, something special and fancy. I didn’t have anything to wear; I figured I don’t really have to dress up if it will be just the 2 of us. So I just wore jeans, a nice blouse and black pumps. Put on a little make up and I am all set to meet him. I don’t want him to think I put too much effort haha. Ok, so here it is. I figured I’ll just bring the car and pick him up from the office. It will be easier for me to go home after, since he cannot bring me home after. You see, up to this point because of the entire hullabaloo that happened some 7 years ago, he still cannot go to my place. So our whirlwind love story on its 10th year now is still on a ”you and me against the world” status. So I went there nervously waiting in the car, anticipating how he looks like or what is his reaction when he see me. I am expecting a bit more enthusiasm, since he practically begged me to go home to see me. Saying

“umuwe ka na please baka mapariwara ako pag hindi ka pa umuwe”.

So when he went in, I just drove and then looked at him. Well he was right, about the “mapariwara” he look terrible. As if he didn’t take care of himself while I was gone. His hair is not trimmed, he lost some weight and I can see in his eyes how terrible he has been since I left. He wasn’t lying when he said he is not ok, its as if he stopped living when I left. I left him looking like a “movie star” (of course I am exaggerating) then I came back 3 months after he now looks like a construction worker, no pun intended. So I asked him, what happened to you? He just smiled and said I miss you. Then he offered to drive, so we exchange places. He just kept on staring at me the same way I stare at him. Traffic jam all over it took us a long time to get to Sofitel. So we just sat there side by side, talking about the things that happened when we are not together, as if we didn’t know. We are talking everyday even when I was in Brunei so we still knew what was happening with each other. We drive past the places we went to and talked all about the memories; we were apart for 3 months and it fells as if it was already years. That’s also when I learned why we are going to Sofitel, we are going to attend his high school reunion. I panicked, I should have worn something nicer, I should have put on a little bit more make up. I should have worn jewelries. I panicked, and these guys are well off, from the “rich and famous”. I’m scared I will not fit in. I’ve known him for 13 years but I didn’t get to hang out with his “rich” friends before. Ok, once but that was years ago, I don’t even know if they still remember me. So we got there, I first met his best friend “P”, I met him years ago. So I am still calm that still went fine. I was right, I am under dressed. They are all wearing beautiful dresses, all made up. I felt like a 15 year old attending a junior prom, scared to death if I was wearing the right dress or the right make up. I'm so nervous, but he held my hand. He looked at me as if I am the most beautiful girl that night. So I was ok, we waited in line to register and “P” kept as company, we are chatting like he know so much about me, like an old friend. Then we went in and there are more “socialista” inside, I tried to put the most relaxed face on. He introduced me to everyone, and they smiled and a bit shocked to see me. After all these years this is the only time they met a girlfriend. A lot of them came without a date; there are just a few “couples” that attended. Then I met the other best friend “J”, unlike “P” I never met him, but to my surprise he knew me. He asked me when I came back from Brunei, he knew who I am and probably knows about our 10 yr romance. He is so accommodating, in fact everybody is. They are all so nice to me and they are looking at him as if saying “checkmate”. This is the girl that will actually tame you down; some even gave me a salute. Saying how amazed they are that this guy finally settled down. We are not yet married!!! But I guess, they know, just like how we know that this time it will be forever. So we chat, laugh, dance the night away, enjoying the company of his friends but most importantly enjoying each other’s company. It was just like prom, it was a magical night. We talked and laugh and held each other as if we are teenagers, enjoying the first dance together.

Tarot- Ten of Cups

We all want a happy family right? I think, that is my greatest dream, to finally have a happy family. When I was younger I am fortunate enough to experience this, or maybe my mom was just to good in keeping the real status of our life back then. Well, to give credits to my parents, yes I would say that I still had a lot of happy family moments, but those days are long gone. I don't even know how it happened but everything is different now, and we are far from having a HAPPY FAMILY.

I went to a tarot reading session this afternoon. This is what I got for future when my cards are being read when I asked the question "Will "daddy" follow in Brunei eventually? The ten of cups

 

The future position indicates that your emotional contentment is coming. The Ten of Cups is a card that is the natural climax of the entire Tarot suit of Cups and so it functions well in the future position as a reminder that your goals in life are worth pursuing no matter what the current struggle may be delivering. Source

The illustration it self shows a "Happy Family". What a joy to see this. This is exactly what I had to see. A dream come true.  I know I may not get those branded clothes, or designer bags, or all those expensive things, but none of those matter. What matter most to me is that I have a happy and contented family. We went through a lot, its 10 years of struggle, and even up to now, our love story is still struggling. But, I will not give up, especially if this is the future that awaits us. This made me more hopeful, and I know, in time I will have that long time dream. To have a happy family.

Ten of Cups (Satiety): Fulfillment and joy in life and love. Feeling peace, tranquility, and contentment in friends and family. Taking delight in one's good fortune.

Preschool Dilema #2

Ok here I go again...the other day my boss talked to me regarding my new assignment. Although he has been telling me his plans from the time that he hired me i never thought that this will happen soon. Again he asked me if it would be alright if he will assign me to go abroad, just a few days to market the company. Of course who wouldnt like that. I was wishing for that too, to travel everywhere. But i really didnt think that its true or its gonna happen that fast. I thought it will take about a year or so, but yesterday when we talked, he said he will fast track my training to do just that. Its like a crash course on everything, everything there is to know in running an architectural firm. Its a good break for me, it like a dream come true. To be given a chance for this opportunity is really an honor. Im happy and grateful but then, there is a little problem called "Jea".

On my way home i was thinking, if I leave for a week or so who will bring her to school, who will fetch her. Now it hits me back. I really like Kiddo Academy for Jea, but if its going to be too difficult for her or fro whoever will take care of her on my absense i might have to settle for the school in our area. My option is to find a school service that I can trust or ask my cousin who is a taxi driver to bring and fetch her from school. At least she knows him and wouldnt be bother if he will the one to fetch her. I really hope I can find a solution. I still want her to study in Kiddo Academy.

Development stage of Toddlers

I found this site that tells the development stage of toddlers. Of course I clicked the stage for 2yr old.. but she's too advance for that. So I went to 3 yr old since she is turning 3, and she is still too advance for that. I tried 4yr old, and she is still too advance for it. So again, I went to the next level. The developmental stage for 5yr old. and here it is. Its exactly what can do in fact even more. The site only have until 5yr old, i still have to look for 6yr old, she may even belong there. Does this mean that my daughters skills are already for a 5 year older more? She is only turning 3 this June, she is 3yrs advance of her age. I am so proud, but also scared. Being too intelligent might go both ways, she may also be discriminated if she is too smart. Or she may get bored in school and lose interest. I wish I can find something that will guide me on how to support and guide her through this.

Children develop at their own pace, so it's impossible to tell exactly when yours will learn a given skill. The developmental milestones below will give you a general idea of the changes you can expect as your child gets older, but don't be alarmed if your child takes a slightly different course.


Social

Wants to please friends -true
Wants to be like her friends- she idolize her cousin Nicole
More likely to agree to rules - she can really follow rules now as long as it is explained to her.
Likes to sing, dance, and act - always always dance when she hears music, in fact she started singing in tune since about 6months. without words of course but in tune.
Shows more independence and may even visit a next-door neighbor by herself- i think she could do this already if we only allow her to.

Emotional Milestones
Aware of gender - identify things too if it should be for girl or boy
Able to distinguish fantasy from reality - true
Sometimes demanding, sometimes eagerly cooperative -true

Cognitive Milestones

Can count 10 or more objects -true
Correctly names at least four colors -she knows red, blue, yellow,pink,black,gray, white, orange, purple, blue, light blue, green, yellow or age, blue green,
Better understands the concept of time - true
Knows about things used every day in the home (money, food, appliances)- she even know how much is the money given to her.. one time i gave her Php20 and i told her its Php50. She looked at me again and said

"mommy two, ito eh, its not 50 its 20.

She can even add and subtract already and we didn't even teach her. Its as if she's teaching herself. One time i went home with donuts and Nong-nong asked her if he could have one and her answer?

Yoko nga, eh, four lng un eh.. pagbinigay ko syo ung one... three na lng.. pag binigay ko pa ulet ung one, two nlng.. tpos if i give another one ubos na!

I'm really shocked and amazed. Another instance while in the groceries. I got 2 juice bottles and then i went back again and got two more. Then she blurted out. :

mommy 4 yan, bket four? dami ah.

Language
Recalls part of a story- in fact she can tell the whole story
Speaks sentences of more than five words - tells a whole story nga eh..
Uses future tense - true and past tense too
Tells longer stories --whole story nga eh..
Says name and address -- true, even birthdays, mommy's name etc.

Movement

Stands on one foot for 10 seconds or longer - oo nman since 1yr old
Hops, somersaults - somersault? tambling ba un?
Swings, climbs - oo nman..
May be able to skip -oo nman!
Hand and Finger Skills --oo nman!

Copies triangle and other shapes -- oo nman!
Draws person with body --oo nman!
Prints some letters -very few pa.. im still teaching her.. i dint know that she can do this already..
Dresses and undresses without help --hehe.. oo nman! different strategy nga lng..
Uses fork, spoon, and (sometimes) a table knife -- oo nman since 1.5 yr old
Usually cares for own toilet needs -- oo nman.. she goes to the bathroom by herself, pulls herself up the watercloset, wash, dry and dress up again.. since 1.8yr old.

Jea's Wish List

actually this is Mommy's wishlist for Jea...

Let's start with the obvious

1. For Jea to grow up to be a wonderful, intelligent, loving, confident, god fearing person.
2. For Jea to feel loved and contented on what she has and whatever she will become.
To be loved and find the greatest love who will love her as much as she loves him, something that I never got.
3. Good health.
4. Harmonious and loving family.
5. Peace of mind.

This list could go on... i think this should be under dreams...

For the shallow ones, I asked her what gift does she wants to get for her birthday. So shout out for family and friends....hehehe..
1. A kitchen playset for Chef Sheffy...(mommy will give this to Jea)
2. Drum... the musical one.. same as the one she saw in one of her barnie videos
3. A new bike. I kept on asking her why does she need another one, she already has one and her answer? Eh..gusto ko pa isa eh.. Dapat dalawa!
4. The art kit in Toy Kingdom complete with the tray, colors, papers.. everything..
5. More cooking stuff...she kept on asking me to buy the toaster and kettle set..
6. A toy cash register.
7. School bag.
8. Lots of stickers.
9. Some little girl make-up. Kikay!
10. PSP

What I really want?

When we got home from office last night, I found Jea at Tita Lody's house again, maybe playing with Nicole. As I got out of the car, I can already hear her screaming "Mommy!!!Mommy I'm here!!" So I acknowledge her by saying I'm coming already and I have something for her. I brought her fries from Mcdo. As soon as I reached the 2nd floor she's already asking for me to buy her, take note PSP. The very expensive Portable Gaming Gadget that I myself dont know how to use. And so I told her I cant get that for her. I'd rather spend the money for her tuition fee, I'd like to enroll her this year. I know she's too young at 2 and a half years old, but she's such an intelligent kid that its such a waste to let her stay at home all day. So I'm saving up for that. Going back to PSP, I really dont like her playing those things, for the following reasons:

1. She's too young to even understand what those games are all about.

2. Most games are too violent for her, she might misunderstood and take that as good things, since all the other kids are playing those games.

3. That is just way too expensive for her, I know by experience that she will just ruin the gadget.

4. I dont think thats what she really wants!!! She just wants to what other/older kids have.

Just what mama also thinks. Jea has to have her own identity, and not just copy from others. I know its just normal for young kids to idolized but for the old ones to actually just accept it and even to encourage it wouldnt be healthy for her. I want her to develop her own personality. To know what she really likes. To know sho she really is. I know its hard, since most adults, even me still doesnt know that. But, its ok to at least dream for that. Right?