For the stressfull life of today, we all need a little R&R right? A nice haircut, manicure, shopping or most people now a days choose to go to spa, for their relaxation. I've tried it so many times, in cheap blind massage or the expensive hotel full pampering spa, but nothing came close to last nights experience.
We were about to sleep, so she gave me the astringent and the face cream to clean my face. This has been our routine as intituted by mama. She was like my personal assistant, she will hand me over the things I need before we go to sleep. But last night, she did something more. She got the bottle of lotion and poured some on her hands then massaged it onto my arms. After she's done with my arms she got my leags and put lotion too. She was so happy doing it. This what I call "pemper" be taken cared of and massaged by Jea. Her little hands feels so good. "she would sometimes say, Mommy, you like it? May masahe pa!" I really love it. So hopefully we will do it every night. Another bonding moment for Mommy and Jea.
After my massage, i gave have pampering too.....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Playing with the computer
Jea loves to play video games, she particularly likes the Sims a simulation game where we made our character. She loves to play the game, where we play ourselves, this is also one way of teaching her about things. Because of this game she easily learned that, that mommy has to work so that they can have money. Without it, we cannot buy things or pay the bills. She also learned that there is time for study, work, play, sleeping etc. She learned that if she doesnt eat she will loose her energy, that would mean that she has to go to sleep. This game did not only teach Jea but myself too. I learned that i have to give attention to al;l aspect of my life, my health, my social interactions, that if i dont have enough interactions with people i love eventually this will risk to loosing them all together.
We use to play everynight before we go to sleep, thats our routine, we will playb until i realize that Jea is already asleep or she will tell me that she's tired already. Its one of our bonding moments. She would tell me what she wants the characters to do., to eat, to sleep, etc. She patiently watch whats happening, somtimes guess whats the next action.
Weve been playing video games for months, but I never gave her the mouse to control. Tonight is different, we are playing chuzzle another game that we have to connect at atleast 3 same color chuzzle. Just as before, i control the mouse, and play, Jea as the viewer only. After several minutes, she asked if she could play by herself, meaning giving her the mouse to control. So I gave it to her, I explained her the mechanics of the game but In didnt expect her to understand. But again, she surprised me. She understood, she had a little problem controlling the mouse, she often right click instead of left. She had a hard time clicking and dragging the mouse all at the same time. But after a few minutes, i heard the game siganlling that she got the right answer. So I watched her carefully, it takes a little while before she gets to control the mouse. Undesrtandably since she has a very small hand in relation to the mouse. She amazed me again, she understood the game and in a few minutes she got the hang of it. She did not only understood the mechanics of the game, but she knows how to coordinate all her senses. She controls the mouse and drags the arrow to where she wants it to be and clicks and look at the monitor all at the same time. Only shows that she is really so intelligent. The coordination also show her advance motor skills.
Friday, February 29, 2008
" I Love You, Dalawa!"
I came home a little late that day because I went out to coffee with Owie. I got home at around 8pm. Jea is extra sweet to me. She got smiles up to her ears when she saw me. I brought some trinkets for her, a bracelet, some hairclips and toothbrush. Mama said shes been asking for me since she got home. Its so nice to see Jea like that. She asked and asked where I have been. Once in a while she would go to my back and hug me from behind. She also kissed me a lot. We played for a little while then she asked for us to go to sleep. As we lay down, I toold her that I love her ans she replied "love you mommy!". Then I said "Goodnigt baby" and she replied "Goodnight mommy!" She would often glimpse at me and just smiled, somtimes waving her hands. Then again I said, "Love you baby!" she'll reply "love you mommy!" then I'll reply "love you too baby". Then she will close her eyes and try sleep.
At around 2am, she woke up asking me for milk. When I gave it to her I said, "good night baby! Love you! then she answered "love you, dalawa!" I said "love you too" she again said "love you , dalawa"
At around 2am, she woke up asking me for milk. When I gave it to her I said, "good night baby! Love you! then she answered "love you, dalawa!" I said "love you too" she again said "love you , dalawa"
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Encouraging your Gifted Child
If you are a parent of a gifted child, the Educational Resources Information Center recommends that you:
Read aloud to your child. It is important that parents read to their gifted child often, even if the child is already capable of reading.
Help your child discover personal interests. Stimulation and support of interests are vital to the development of talents. Parents should expose their child to their own interests and encourage the child to learn about a wide variety of subjects, such as art, nature, music, and sports, in addition to traditional academic subjects such as math, reading, and science.
Encourage the support of extended family and friends. As an infant, a gifted child can exhaust new parents because he or she often sleeps less than other babies and requires extra stimulation when awake. It can be helpful to have extended family in the home, grandparents who live nearby, or close friends in the neighborhood who can spend some time with the child so the primary caretakers can get some rest and to give the infant added -- or different -- stimulation.
Speak and listen to your child with consideration and respect. From the time he or she can talk, a gifted child is constantly asking questions and will often challenge authority. "Do it because I said so" doesn't work. Generally, a gifted child will cooperate more with parents who take the time to explain requests than with more authoritarian parents.
If your child isn't in school yet, you might look for a preschool program for gifted children or make some effort to support your child at home. This might include frequent visits to a museum, zoo, bookstore, nature center and other field trips. Home use of educational programs, including books and computer programs, might also be helpful.
Once your child starts kindergarten, you might have to consider advanced placement vs. participation in a gifted and talented program. It doesn't make any sense for a child who already knows how to read to attend a regular kindergarten class and get bored as the other kids are just learning to read.
Your state or local gifted education association (see the Internet Links above) should also offer some help and additional resources for your child and school counselors/psychologists can offer advice on the best placement for your gifted child
Read aloud to your child. It is important that parents read to their gifted child often, even if the child is already capable of reading.
Help your child discover personal interests. Stimulation and support of interests are vital to the development of talents. Parents should expose their child to their own interests and encourage the child to learn about a wide variety of subjects, such as art, nature, music, and sports, in addition to traditional academic subjects such as math, reading, and science.
Encourage the support of extended family and friends. As an infant, a gifted child can exhaust new parents because he or she often sleeps less than other babies and requires extra stimulation when awake. It can be helpful to have extended family in the home, grandparents who live nearby, or close friends in the neighborhood who can spend some time with the child so the primary caretakers can get some rest and to give the infant added -- or different -- stimulation.
Speak and listen to your child with consideration and respect. From the time he or she can talk, a gifted child is constantly asking questions and will often challenge authority. "Do it because I said so" doesn't work. Generally, a gifted child will cooperate more with parents who take the time to explain requests than with more authoritarian parents.
If your child isn't in school yet, you might look for a preschool program for gifted children or make some effort to support your child at home. This might include frequent visits to a museum, zoo, bookstore, nature center and other field trips. Home use of educational programs, including books and computer programs, might also be helpful.
Once your child starts kindergarten, you might have to consider advanced placement vs. participation in a gifted and talented program. It doesn't make any sense for a child who already knows how to read to attend a regular kindergarten class and get bored as the other kids are just learning to read.
Your state or local gifted education association (see the Internet Links above) should also offer some help and additional resources for your child and school counselors/psychologists can offer advice on the best placement for your gifted child
gifted child as per brainy-child.com
Many parents have indicated interest on how to pick on early signs of giftedness for very young children. Therefore, I believe that the rough estimation I came up with from various researches and my personal experiences may be of help to many parents. It must be noted that more and more children are showing signs of early advancement due to parental awareness that leads to the right coaching and nurturance. Hence, to be placed in gifted programs today, the criteria are much tougher than it has ever been in the past and competition is rather stiff. However, regardless on whether a child shows signs early or later, all children deserve an opportunity to develop themselves to the fullest and at a tender age, parents are the best teachers/educators.
There are two ranges of age groups that I am concentrating on; from birth to 2 years old and from 2 – 4 years of age.
Birth – 2 years
The following checklist is a rough indication of what you may want to look out for after your child is born up to 2 years of age.
Ability of recognize carers early (within a few months after birth)
Early expressions (e.g. smiling)
Unusual alertness
Interest in books (turning pages of books before 1 year of age and paying attention when read to within 6 months)
Interest in computers
Unusually active and high levels of energy (but not hyperactive)
Playing with shape sorters by about 11 months.
Ability to form two word phrases by 14 months
Ability to understand instructions by 18 months
Ability to say and understand many words before 18 months
Could stay still and enjoy a TV programs (e.g., Sesame Street) by the age of 1
Has favorite TV shows/VCD/DVDs by age 1
Appears to require less sleep (yet not sleepy or irritable due to lack of sleep)
Recognition of letters/alphabets by age 2
Recognition and rote counting of numbers 1 – 10 or higher by age 2
Recognition of colors by age 2
Recognition of first word by age 2
Interest in puzzles by age 2
Has long attention span in interest areas by age 2
Ability to form at least 3 word sentence by age 2
Interest in time by age 2
2 – 4 years
The following includes all/most skills in the checklist above.
Early and extensive language development and vocabulary, forms grammatically correct sentences as compared to peers
Interest in computers (not video games)
Ability to solve a 20-piece puzzle by age 3
Has a vivid imagination (includes having imaginary friends)
Extraordinary feats of memory
Extreme curiosity and asks many questions
Specific talent (if any), such as artistic ability or an unusual facility for numbers - becomes more apparent by age 4
Ability to memorize and recall facts easily
Early development of a sense of humor
Ability to do one-to-one counting for small quantities by age 3
Recognition of simple signs and own written name by age 3
Ability to write letters, numbers, words, and their names between 3 and 4 years
Ability to read easy readers by age 4
Rather independent on the computer by age 4
Demonstration of musical aptitude just after 2
Ability to do simple addition and subtraction by age 4
High degrees of mathematical understanding by age 4
The above checklist is at best regarded as a rough guide and bear in mind that not all of the skills and age guide mentioned is absolute. Some children may demonstrate these abilities at a younger age and some may be older and yet classified as advanced learners. However, this can be a good guide to look out for signs of early advanced development in children and provide the necessary platform for them to flourish.
In addition, bear in mind that a child can be both gifted and learning disabled. Unfortunately, more often than not, the disability is recognized while giftedness goes undetected. It is also a fact that giftedness in children from ethnic minorities, disadvantageous backgrounds (financially and educationally), and for those for whom English is a second language (almost all standardized tests are in English), is often overlooked as well. Be mindful if your child falls into any of these categories. If your child is in pre-school, make sure you ask your child's teacher to observe her/him and look for talents, skills and abilities that conventional tests fail to detect.
Finally yet importantly, you may want to check out the following website (The National Association for Gifted Children, UK) that provides an online questionnaire, which will give you an indicator about your child's level of development. Please bear in mind that this questionnaire is a rough indicator only is by no means an assessment.
There are two ranges of age groups that I am concentrating on; from birth to 2 years old and from 2 – 4 years of age.
Birth – 2 years
The following checklist is a rough indication of what you may want to look out for after your child is born up to 2 years of age.
Ability of recognize carers early (within a few months after birth)
Early expressions (e.g. smiling)
Unusual alertness
Interest in books (turning pages of books before 1 year of age and paying attention when read to within 6 months)
Interest in computers
Unusually active and high levels of energy (but not hyperactive)
Playing with shape sorters by about 11 months.
Ability to form two word phrases by 14 months
Ability to understand instructions by 18 months
Ability to say and understand many words before 18 months
Could stay still and enjoy a TV programs (e.g., Sesame Street) by the age of 1
Has favorite TV shows/VCD/DVDs by age 1
Appears to require less sleep (yet not sleepy or irritable due to lack of sleep)
Recognition of letters/alphabets by age 2
Recognition and rote counting of numbers 1 – 10 or higher by age 2
Recognition of colors by age 2
Recognition of first word by age 2
Interest in puzzles by age 2
Has long attention span in interest areas by age 2
Ability to form at least 3 word sentence by age 2
Interest in time by age 2
2 – 4 years
The following includes all/most skills in the checklist above.
Early and extensive language development and vocabulary, forms grammatically correct sentences as compared to peers
Interest in computers (not video games)
Ability to solve a 20-piece puzzle by age 3
Has a vivid imagination (includes having imaginary friends)
Extraordinary feats of memory
Extreme curiosity and asks many questions
Specific talent (if any), such as artistic ability or an unusual facility for numbers - becomes more apparent by age 4
Ability to memorize and recall facts easily
Early development of a sense of humor
Ability to do one-to-one counting for small quantities by age 3
Recognition of simple signs and own written name by age 3
Ability to write letters, numbers, words, and their names between 3 and 4 years
Ability to read easy readers by age 4
Rather independent on the computer by age 4
Demonstration of musical aptitude just after 2
Ability to do simple addition and subtraction by age 4
High degrees of mathematical understanding by age 4
The above checklist is at best regarded as a rough guide and bear in mind that not all of the skills and age guide mentioned is absolute. Some children may demonstrate these abilities at a younger age and some may be older and yet classified as advanced learners. However, this can be a good guide to look out for signs of early advanced development in children and provide the necessary platform for them to flourish.
In addition, bear in mind that a child can be both gifted and learning disabled. Unfortunately, more often than not, the disability is recognized while giftedness goes undetected. It is also a fact that giftedness in children from ethnic minorities, disadvantageous backgrounds (financially and educationally), and for those for whom English is a second language (almost all standardized tests are in English), is often overlooked as well. Be mindful if your child falls into any of these categories. If your child is in pre-school, make sure you ask your child's teacher to observe her/him and look for talents, skills and abilities that conventional tests fail to detect.
Finally yet importantly, you may want to check out the following website (The National Association for Gifted Children, UK) that provides an online questionnaire, which will give you an indicator about your child's level of development. Please bear in mind that this questionnaire is a rough indicator only is by no means an assessment.
How Do I Know if my Child is Gifted?
Elsewhere on this site I've explained that a gifted child is not a 3 year old who invents relativity; that that common myth of a gifted child is completely unrealistic. I explained that this myth does a lot of harm because it prevents so many parents & teachers from accepting "giftedness" in gifted children they do have.
So: if a gifted child isn't one who toddles about in nappies (diapers) composing symphonies and inventing hyperspace travel, what is it? This is rather like English spelling; it's a simple issue basically, but it does get complicated by exceptions, here & there... & there...
There's a widely-used checklist, along the lines "if your child does all or many of these, he or she may well be gifted". I'll number the checklist for easy reference for "exceptions".
A Gifted Child may:
1 pass developmental stages earlier than average (ie, sits early, crawls early, walks early; as a baby & toddler, he or she may need far less sleep than others, especially parents)
2 develop more advanced vocabulary than age peers
3 use fluent & expressive language
4 be very demanding, wanting constant interaction from adults; be very demanding in many ways, especially re 5,6,12,13,16,19 & 21
5 be alert & respond actively to visual stimulation (eg pictures) and stories
6 become easily bored with routine; seek out & enjoy new experiences
7 have a long concentration span for activities or projects which interest her or him
8 set her or himself high or perfectionist standards
9 be highly self-critical; (this goes in conjunction with 8)
10 teach him or her self to read without anyone really noticing how; or learn to read early
11 have a good memory - quick and detailed recall of information or events
12 enjoy amassing information, and develop detailed knowledge about topics of interest
13 have an intense joy & interest in learning (NOTE: not necessarily school, but learning)
14 develop high moral values and a strong sense of justice, early; this can begin around 3 or 4 years old regarding issues usually not understood by children of that age
15 (related to 14), understand implications re wider issues; this may show up particularly re environmental, world and social issues
16 show a high degree of genuine and deep curiosity
17 develop a sense of humour early, and of a type more adult-like than child-like
18 have a vivid and creative imagination, both re fantasising and re problem-solving
19 enjoy playing with older children; enjoy the company of adults
20 adapt readily to new situations and routines
21 tend to dominate or organise others; this may appear as showing leadership qualities
22 enjoy directing the activities of children around them, or taking on a teaching role
Some of the many exceptions and problems with this type of list are:
First problem: the main one, since this is being read by you, a parent who may have a gifted child, and may therefore be of above average intelligence yourself: you may need to make a major mental readjustment about all the above, because if you're gifted yourself, you also probably set your standards too high; you may accept early developmental milestones as the norm, not recognise advanced vocabulary as being advanced, not realise how short other children's concentrations spans are, etc etc.
Second problem: Many of the above (eg 4,5,6,16,18,21) are highly characteristic of all toddlers, and should remain characteristic of all children if not squashed out of them. These are the means by which nature has designed children to hurl themselves into the world around them, to achieve the immense amount of learning about it, that they need to get through. Dr Christopher Green, in his book "Toddler Taming" quotes his own experience, and many studies, to formulate an understanding of normal toddler behaviour, in an attempt to reassure parents who are convinced their toddler is the only 2 or 3 year old terrorist in the world. He emphasises the busyness of toddlers; their craving for attention, preferably more than 24 hours per day of it; their high curiosity; their creativeness at getting into anything and everything, especially if they shouldn't; and the high resistance of many of them to bedtime in any form, or at any hour.
Third Problem: People are individuals, humans are complex; gifted people especially so. Personality comes into all these things. Enjoying new experiences & routines (#6 &20) is something of a bipolar personality trait; some kids are just built so they hate them, including some gifted kids. Many kids pass physical developmental milestones early (#1); the normal range in this area is very wide. Very demanding, (#4); well, any kid can be this; spouses can be, family, pets, what's new? Numbers 5 & 6 are again part of the bipolar personality trait which has been characterised by the introvert/extrovert concept; so, many average kids can have these traits, and many gifted kids don't have them. Numbers 21 & 22 are easily confused with (and sometimes are) bossiness, a trait widely found in the whole population.
Major problem 1:
The little-understood neural glitches which show up as learning difficulties of some types, (the most common in our print-oriented society being dyslexia), are statistically as common among gifted children as they are in the normal population. Many gifted individuals through history are thought to have been dyslexic, (eg Leonardo da Vinci), or to have had broad-spectrum learning difficulties (eg Einstein).
So this fact naturally knocks out #10, which is the gifted trait which most easily impresses parents and school staff. In fact sadly, it's very hard to convince most people, including about 99% of education authorities, that a dyslexic child is gifted, no matter how high her or his IQ is. Learning difficulties can also affect #s 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, & 12. Many of these are affected not because the child can't do them, but because frustration & low self-esteem in the area affected by the learning difficulty, makes them avoid related activities (probably invoking setting high standards for themselves, #s 8 & 9).
Major problem 2:
Underachieving. All children want to feel accepted; most want to conform and seem like the others. Many gifted kids begin this process so early, they're already conforming and underachieving in play groups, before they start kindergarten. The earliest attempts at setting up special classes for gifted children, by asking their primary or secondary teachers to nominate the students they thought were gifted, failed badly partly because of this. By that time, many gifted kids were underachieving; others were just turned off due to boredom, so they were also well camouflaged. These are both very sad problems, because they can quickly become subconscious, meaning the child her or him self doesn't know he or she's doing them, and can't easily stop at will.
So: the indicators aren't always obvious. So: How do I really know if my child's gifted?
In my experience, there are 2 pretty fail-safe issues. First, I find the first 2 years of life, unless there's some factor like extreme ill health, usually give some very clear clues. The younger the child is, the less underachieving, or low esteem from frustration with learning difficulties, can muddy the picture. Very simple actions in the first 2 years can indicate giftedness. Highly intelligent behaviour very rarely happens by chance; it only has to be seen occasionally, & can be relied on fairly confidently. We've all heard the idea that given an infinite amount of time, a monkey could write Hamlet, and we understand that's an illustration of the concept of infinity. But to date, there are a lot of monkeys on the planet, quite a while's passed, and none of them have written Hamlet yet. Intelligent behaviour by sheer chance is not common.
Therefore something as simple as the time I saw an 8 month old child of a friend, draw a circle and mark in eyes, nose and a mouth, can tell you "This is a gifted child". (She's 8 now, and has been tested, and yes, she's gifted.) That's just not normal 8 month old behaviour; any of you who have access to an average 8 month old, try it. They scribble, some draw circle shapes; but the average child is around 18 months old, or more, before he or she fills in eyes & a mouth.
Parents usually notice the achievements of 1 & 2 year olds, because the wonder of it all is still so fresh, and because they make us interact with them so much. So if it seems to you that various activities of your child are unusual compared to children you see from the wider community, then your child's quite probably gifted. (Don't compare with children of your friends, or family members; they're likely to be to some extent a selected group. Because you're intelligent, your friends & family are likely to be of above average intelligence too.)
If your child is older, or as he or she grows, if you have that feeling "He or she seemed so bright as a baby & young toddler, but it seems to have faded as she or he's grown older", it's likely your child is gifted, but is underachieving and trying to conform. As already stated, this isn't always done consciously, so you can't simply ask him or her if that's what he or she's doing; in an older child not showing clear signs of giftedness, only a psychological assessment can now tell. But if you have that feeling "Where did all of what seemed such brightness in that baby, disappear along the way?", it's highly likely your child is gifted. I find the gut feeling parents get in those first 2 years is very reliable.
Second: Some of that checklist, I find, are very reliable if they do occur. The long concentration span on activities that interest the child, #7, is almost a decider on its own, because children within the normal intelligence range really do have short concentration spans. This can fail gifted kids with attention deficit disorder; but most of those do show long concentration span at times, or for a few special interests. The understanding of implications, #14, often leading to intense concern and worry re environmental and world issues, is another very reliable one. Humour is a surprisingly complex phenomenon, so #16 is reliable too, although the reverse, lack of humour, isn't; many people, including the gifted, don't have much sense of humour. The enthusiasm for learning, #13, is almost a definite on its own, too. The high curiousity,#15, is another good indicator, though not the common, endless, almost meaningless, "Why? Why? Why?" (This is often not real curiousity, but attention seeking.) When curiousity goes beyond "Why?" into detail and more detail, and really wanting to know all about this, then it's almost certainly giftedness.
Examples of these can illustrate the difference between a "the 2 year-old inventing calculus" myth, and a clearly gifted child - but examples are lengthy to set out. I'll give just one. A (just) 4 year old at our place, who wasn't reading at all (she turned out later to have profound dyslexia), saw a drink coaster, a tatty old souvenir from Bath, England; the well-known view from the Roman baths, looking up through the Georgian "pump rooms", to the Cathedral, showing 3 eras from English history, and asked "What's this?" "It's called a drink coaster; it's something you stand a drink on, to protect the table.' "No, I mean, what is this a picture of?" (I think: gosh, how do I make a simple answer of this): "It's a picture of a famous place in another country; it's called "Bath", because of that sort of swimming pool you can see there." "But why is this part all broken around the edges?" "Well, the people who built that big bath, lived a long time ago, so it's all got a bit broken because a long time's gone by." "What people were they?"
I was trying to avoid swamping this child with a lot of enthusiastic information I assumed would bore her stiff, about the Romans, their empire, and their fascinating relics in Europe, etc. But she wasn't bored by this, even though she was only just 4. By questions like those above, step by step over the next 2 hours, she drew out of me a (slightly expurgated) history of the Ancient Romans and their political methods, the organisation of their empire, the place of women & children in their society, their bathing, their architecture, and their mosaics. She sat among books and atlases, looking through postcards of Roman mosaics; she had waited patiently while I dug them out of cupboards. From that battered little drink coaster, she'd become so passionately interested in ancient Roman history that I let her borrow some of the books, & gave her some of the precious postcards of mosaics.
That order of curiosity, and that level of concentration span, indicates a very likely gifted child.
The checklist is good, if you remember all the differences between individuals, the special reasons why older gifted kids may not be openly doing the "gifted thing", and keep the learning difficulties issue in mind.
Most of all, remember the "gut feeling" you had when your child was young; research has shown that parents are the most reliable at detecting giftedness in their children - as long as they don't set their standards too high!
© 2000 Helen Dowland
This page was last updated on Sunday, 15 January 2006 02:10 PM
So: if a gifted child isn't one who toddles about in nappies (diapers) composing symphonies and inventing hyperspace travel, what is it? This is rather like English spelling; it's a simple issue basically, but it does get complicated by exceptions, here & there... & there...
There's a widely-used checklist, along the lines "if your child does all or many of these, he or she may well be gifted". I'll number the checklist for easy reference for "exceptions".
A Gifted Child may:
1 pass developmental stages earlier than average (ie, sits early, crawls early, walks early; as a baby & toddler, he or she may need far less sleep than others, especially parents)
2 develop more advanced vocabulary than age peers
3 use fluent & expressive language
4 be very demanding, wanting constant interaction from adults; be very demanding in many ways, especially re 5,6,12,13,16,19 & 21
5 be alert & respond actively to visual stimulation (eg pictures) and stories
6 become easily bored with routine; seek out & enjoy new experiences
7 have a long concentration span for activities or projects which interest her or him
8 set her or himself high or perfectionist standards
9 be highly self-critical; (this goes in conjunction with 8)
10 teach him or her self to read without anyone really noticing how; or learn to read early
11 have a good memory - quick and detailed recall of information or events
12 enjoy amassing information, and develop detailed knowledge about topics of interest
13 have an intense joy & interest in learning (NOTE: not necessarily school, but learning)
14 develop high moral values and a strong sense of justice, early; this can begin around 3 or 4 years old regarding issues usually not understood by children of that age
15 (related to 14), understand implications re wider issues; this may show up particularly re environmental, world and social issues
16 show a high degree of genuine and deep curiosity
17 develop a sense of humour early, and of a type more adult-like than child-like
18 have a vivid and creative imagination, both re fantasising and re problem-solving
19 enjoy playing with older children; enjoy the company of adults
20 adapt readily to new situations and routines
21 tend to dominate or organise others; this may appear as showing leadership qualities
22 enjoy directing the activities of children around them, or taking on a teaching role
Some of the many exceptions and problems with this type of list are:
First problem: the main one, since this is being read by you, a parent who may have a gifted child, and may therefore be of above average intelligence yourself: you may need to make a major mental readjustment about all the above, because if you're gifted yourself, you also probably set your standards too high; you may accept early developmental milestones as the norm, not recognise advanced vocabulary as being advanced, not realise how short other children's concentrations spans are, etc etc.
Second problem: Many of the above (eg 4,5,6,16,18,21) are highly characteristic of all toddlers, and should remain characteristic of all children if not squashed out of them. These are the means by which nature has designed children to hurl themselves into the world around them, to achieve the immense amount of learning about it, that they need to get through. Dr Christopher Green, in his book "Toddler Taming" quotes his own experience, and many studies, to formulate an understanding of normal toddler behaviour, in an attempt to reassure parents who are convinced their toddler is the only 2 or 3 year old terrorist in the world. He emphasises the busyness of toddlers; their craving for attention, preferably more than 24 hours per day of it; their high curiosity; their creativeness at getting into anything and everything, especially if they shouldn't; and the high resistance of many of them to bedtime in any form, or at any hour.
Third Problem: People are individuals, humans are complex; gifted people especially so. Personality comes into all these things. Enjoying new experiences & routines (#6 &20) is something of a bipolar personality trait; some kids are just built so they hate them, including some gifted kids. Many kids pass physical developmental milestones early (#1); the normal range in this area is very wide. Very demanding, (#4); well, any kid can be this; spouses can be, family, pets, what's new? Numbers 5 & 6 are again part of the bipolar personality trait which has been characterised by the introvert/extrovert concept; so, many average kids can have these traits, and many gifted kids don't have them. Numbers 21 & 22 are easily confused with (and sometimes are) bossiness, a trait widely found in the whole population.
Major problem 1:
The little-understood neural glitches which show up as learning difficulties of some types, (the most common in our print-oriented society being dyslexia), are statistically as common among gifted children as they are in the normal population. Many gifted individuals through history are thought to have been dyslexic, (eg Leonardo da Vinci), or to have had broad-spectrum learning difficulties (eg Einstein).
So this fact naturally knocks out #10, which is the gifted trait which most easily impresses parents and school staff. In fact sadly, it's very hard to convince most people, including about 99% of education authorities, that a dyslexic child is gifted, no matter how high her or his IQ is. Learning difficulties can also affect #s 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, & 12. Many of these are affected not because the child can't do them, but because frustration & low self-esteem in the area affected by the learning difficulty, makes them avoid related activities (probably invoking setting high standards for themselves, #s 8 & 9).
Major problem 2:
Underachieving. All children want to feel accepted; most want to conform and seem like the others. Many gifted kids begin this process so early, they're already conforming and underachieving in play groups, before they start kindergarten. The earliest attempts at setting up special classes for gifted children, by asking their primary or secondary teachers to nominate the students they thought were gifted, failed badly partly because of this. By that time, many gifted kids were underachieving; others were just turned off due to boredom, so they were also well camouflaged. These are both very sad problems, because they can quickly become subconscious, meaning the child her or him self doesn't know he or she's doing them, and can't easily stop at will.
So: the indicators aren't always obvious. So: How do I really know if my child's gifted?
In my experience, there are 2 pretty fail-safe issues. First, I find the first 2 years of life, unless there's some factor like extreme ill health, usually give some very clear clues. The younger the child is, the less underachieving, or low esteem from frustration with learning difficulties, can muddy the picture. Very simple actions in the first 2 years can indicate giftedness. Highly intelligent behaviour very rarely happens by chance; it only has to be seen occasionally, & can be relied on fairly confidently. We've all heard the idea that given an infinite amount of time, a monkey could write Hamlet, and we understand that's an illustration of the concept of infinity. But to date, there are a lot of monkeys on the planet, quite a while's passed, and none of them have written Hamlet yet. Intelligent behaviour by sheer chance is not common.
Therefore something as simple as the time I saw an 8 month old child of a friend, draw a circle and mark in eyes, nose and a mouth, can tell you "This is a gifted child". (She's 8 now, and has been tested, and yes, she's gifted.) That's just not normal 8 month old behaviour; any of you who have access to an average 8 month old, try it. They scribble, some draw circle shapes; but the average child is around 18 months old, or more, before he or she fills in eyes & a mouth.
Parents usually notice the achievements of 1 & 2 year olds, because the wonder of it all is still so fresh, and because they make us interact with them so much. So if it seems to you that various activities of your child are unusual compared to children you see from the wider community, then your child's quite probably gifted. (Don't compare with children of your friends, or family members; they're likely to be to some extent a selected group. Because you're intelligent, your friends & family are likely to be of above average intelligence too.)
If your child is older, or as he or she grows, if you have that feeling "He or she seemed so bright as a baby & young toddler, but it seems to have faded as she or he's grown older", it's likely your child is gifted, but is underachieving and trying to conform. As already stated, this isn't always done consciously, so you can't simply ask him or her if that's what he or she's doing; in an older child not showing clear signs of giftedness, only a psychological assessment can now tell. But if you have that feeling "Where did all of what seemed such brightness in that baby, disappear along the way?", it's highly likely your child is gifted. I find the gut feeling parents get in those first 2 years is very reliable.
Second: Some of that checklist, I find, are very reliable if they do occur. The long concentration span on activities that interest the child, #7, is almost a decider on its own, because children within the normal intelligence range really do have short concentration spans. This can fail gifted kids with attention deficit disorder; but most of those do show long concentration span at times, or for a few special interests. The understanding of implications, #14, often leading to intense concern and worry re environmental and world issues, is another very reliable one. Humour is a surprisingly complex phenomenon, so #16 is reliable too, although the reverse, lack of humour, isn't; many people, including the gifted, don't have much sense of humour. The enthusiasm for learning, #13, is almost a definite on its own, too. The high curiousity,#15, is another good indicator, though not the common, endless, almost meaningless, "Why? Why? Why?" (This is often not real curiousity, but attention seeking.) When curiousity goes beyond "Why?" into detail and more detail, and really wanting to know all about this, then it's almost certainly giftedness.
Examples of these can illustrate the difference between a "the 2 year-old inventing calculus" myth, and a clearly gifted child - but examples are lengthy to set out. I'll give just one. A (just) 4 year old at our place, who wasn't reading at all (she turned out later to have profound dyslexia), saw a drink coaster, a tatty old souvenir from Bath, England; the well-known view from the Roman baths, looking up through the Georgian "pump rooms", to the Cathedral, showing 3 eras from English history, and asked "What's this?" "It's called a drink coaster; it's something you stand a drink on, to protect the table.' "No, I mean, what is this a picture of?" (I think: gosh, how do I make a simple answer of this): "It's a picture of a famous place in another country; it's called "Bath", because of that sort of swimming pool you can see there." "But why is this part all broken around the edges?" "Well, the people who built that big bath, lived a long time ago, so it's all got a bit broken because a long time's gone by." "What people were they?"
I was trying to avoid swamping this child with a lot of enthusiastic information I assumed would bore her stiff, about the Romans, their empire, and their fascinating relics in Europe, etc. But she wasn't bored by this, even though she was only just 4. By questions like those above, step by step over the next 2 hours, she drew out of me a (slightly expurgated) history of the Ancient Romans and their political methods, the organisation of their empire, the place of women & children in their society, their bathing, their architecture, and their mosaics. She sat among books and atlases, looking through postcards of Roman mosaics; she had waited patiently while I dug them out of cupboards. From that battered little drink coaster, she'd become so passionately interested in ancient Roman history that I let her borrow some of the books, & gave her some of the precious postcards of mosaics.
That order of curiosity, and that level of concentration span, indicates a very likely gifted child.
The checklist is good, if you remember all the differences between individuals, the special reasons why older gifted kids may not be openly doing the "gifted thing", and keep the learning difficulties issue in mind.
Most of all, remember the "gut feeling" you had when your child was young; research has shown that parents are the most reliable at detecting giftedness in their children - as long as they don't set their standards too high!
© 2000 Helen Dowland
This page was last updated on Sunday, 15 January 2006 02:10 PM
Comparison of Bright vs Gifted
Knows the answers. Asks the questions.
Interested. Extremely curious.
Pays attention. Gets involved physically
and mentally.
Works hard. Plays around, still gets
good test scores.
Answers questions. Questions the answers.
Enjoys same-age Prefers adults or older
peers. children.
Good at memorization. Good at guessing.
Learns easily. Bored. Already knew the
answers.
Listens well. Shows strong feelings
and opinions.
Self-satisfied. Highly critical of self
(perfectionistic).
Source: Janice Szabos as quoted in "The Gifted and Talented Child," Maryland Council for Gifted & Talented Children, Inc. P.O. Box 12221, Silver Spring, MD 20908
Interested. Extremely curious.
Pays attention. Gets involved physically
and mentally.
Works hard. Plays around, still gets
good test scores.
Answers questions. Questions the answers.
Enjoys same-age Prefers adults or older
peers. children.
Good at memorization. Good at guessing.
Learns easily. Bored. Already knew the
answers.
Listens well. Shows strong feelings
and opinions.
Self-satisfied. Highly critical of self
(perfectionistic).
Source: Janice Szabos as quoted in "The Gifted and Talented Child," Maryland Council for Gifted & Talented Children, Inc. P.O. Box 12221, Silver Spring, MD 20908
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