The new sexy me!!!

before

Finally, after years of struggling with my weight, I can now say that I am back to an acceptable weight. I still needs to lose 10lbs more to reach my goal, but I am satisfied that I lost 20lbs in 3 months. Here's my before and after pictures.

Living Room Design Board

1.Inspiration Room 2. Color scheme 3. Upholstery Fabric 4. Antique Gold Wood Finish 5. Furniture Pieces 6.Fabric Suggestions for Pillows 7.Fabric for Curtain 8.Lighting Fixture Suggestions (either use a glass or crystal base or silver metallic base)

Design Board for Ferry Port Terminal

This is the original proposal for the Ferry Fort Terminal for Seria. The reception lobby will be the focal point. I want it to look inviting and refreshing, after all the main reason why your are doing a renovation is to make it improve it, right? If not, so why the heck you will go through all that trouble. I will understand if they will tell me that the reason why they didn't like the design because of budget constraints, but please don't tell me that you don't like the design because its "too beautiful?" As ironic as it seems, I have to change the design to make it not look beautiful. It is so unnatural for a designer to design something that is not beautiful. That is the first and foremost goal in creating any design. In any design, an architect or any designer for that matter considers a lot of things, and a very big part of the design is aesthetics. So imagine, how shocked I am to hear that they don't like the design because it is beautiful?

Dream Beach Wedding

It started yesterday. I received a message from him saying "I know now, I can see it... I know how our wedding will be", I was overwhelmed that he can actually visualized how our wedding will be. We already agreed to get married a few months ago, when we just got back together. Barely a few weeks from the "first" date we he already popped the question and without hesitation I answered yes. We knew, from that time that this time we want to be together forever. So fast forward to present, I am in Brunei and he is in the Philippines, its the 8th month since then we are still as in love as 10 years ago. As if long distance relationship is just so easy to manage. We didn't have doubts, even if we are apart. We know that this time we will be make it work. I knew that he loves me and still thinks of me, but I didn't know that he actually thinks of me everyday, every hour, every minute. I know this is too cheesy, believe me I myself can't believe that this is happening. Its like a dream come true. Last night, we continued to talk about it. He had it all figured out, he even has a music lined up. He already picked the song that will play as I walk down the aisle, the background music as we give our vows, even the song of our first dance as husband and wife. I am actually tearing up as he narrates how he imagines it to be. e even typed the lyrics to the songs which melt my heart even more.

i'll be just waiting for you...i'll be under your stars forever by starlight...i'll kiss you..and promise to be your one and only... i'll make you feel happy....

Now I understood, why we had to go through all that trouble, the chaos, the 7 years of not being together, because we are meant to experience this, the magical ending to our fairytale love story. Venue, theme, guest list, entourage, decor, time, date all set... and we only talked about it for 2 or 3 hours and we already have the whole wedding planned out. Isn't that amazing? So hopefully the problem with the documents will finally be finished so that we can be together and make this dream wedding a reality.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

The Reunion ended at 4am, and he has a 7am DFA appointment the following day.  So instead of going back home to his place which is all the way to the South, I suggested that he just spend the night in the nearby motel. He was hesitant at first; he doesn’t want to stay in that place alone. Hmmm, I know what all you are thinking, but no. I didn’t stay with him. I dropped him off to the motel and I drove home which is just 20 meters away.

So I went home and of course my mom was ready with all the nagging. So I just lay down and keep quiet, tried to go to sleep while my mom continued to nag me as if I am a 13 year old. I didn’t get to sleep at all, so at 5:30 am I stood up and took a shower and left. I will go with him to DFA and also to meet up with my friends from the previous job. Our meeting time is at 6 am. So I called his phone to wake him up so he can prepare also. But! His phone is off!! So I had to go to him and wake him up myself. Can you imagine, going to a motel asking if there is a guy who checked in at 4am alone? It  is so embarrassing!!! But I have to do it, if not, he will miss his DFA appointment and all the plans about him going to Brunei with me will be shattered. So I went there and ask the guard and the receptionist if there was a guy who checked in at 4am, please call his room and wake him up. Everybody was shocked; they said they cannot give me any info on who came in and with whom. I sounded like a wife trying to find his philandering husband haha.  They said a lot of couples checked in at that time, they cannot pin point which one is his room. I said, he is alone, that will narrow down your choices. How many customers check in alone in a motel, right? So I successfully convinced them that I just had to wake him up, because we have to go to a very important appointment. After 15 to 20 minutes of humiliating argument the receptionist agreed to call the room which they think he is in. So we found him!!! They called his room and woke him up.

I was scared that they will call the wrong room well, lucky he is the only one who checked in alone, and we we’re able to trace the correct room. He answered and in a few minutes he is down and we left.......... oopps it wasn’t that easy. He lost the room number and after a few more minutes of looking and arguing with the staff he eventually paid 300 for the lost room number. So we hurriedly left that awful place, disgusted, humiliated, tired, me without any sleep, him without a bath. So you can just imagine how bad our day is going. Now that I am thinking about it, I can already smile, but that was such a horrible experience. To continue, we took a cab, already 45 minutes late on our respective appointment.  In the cab, I checked the documents he brought for the dfa, he doesn’t have the most important of all the “appointment”. So, we kind of argue about it. I am really losing my cool at this point, but I tried my best to stay calm. We are already running late, and another unfortunate event  happened. There is a fun run in the area and the roads are closed, all the bad luck was thrown to us that day.  Since I had to meet up with my friends, and they have been waiting for an hour already. I get off the taxi and walked run going to the meeting place. I was walking faster than the participants of the fun run.  I met up with them for a few minutes while he wait at McDonalds, as I try to talk to somebody inside dfa to let him in, even without the appointment.  Good thing, my friends agreed for all of us to go to McDonalds instead while we try to mend the problem about the missing doc. I left and run again towards McDonalds. So when I got there, he was sitting so relaxed as if there is no problem and even asked if I have a pen. Pissed off, I went to the store next to McDonalds and bought a pen, handed it to him and rolled my eyes. So this is a nuclear bomb just about to explode any minute. That’s the time my friends got there and I hurriedly bought them breakfast, said a quick hi and told them I have to leave them again to accompany him at dfa. 

We got there, I got in first, tried to talk to them that the webpage malfunctioned that’s why we didn’t get to print the appointment, lame excuse right?  So they checked their system and he really didn’t have an appointment in their system. We are sure he has one, we received the email. I was the one that set that appointment. So with all these trouble, we went out dfa not getting what we went there for. To think I even flew in from Brunei just to make sure he gets this one done.

You think by this time the nuclear bomb that has been regaining strength every “malfunction” that we encounter will blew off? No, not really.  We are both calm and accepted that it wasn’t’ meant to be. So we walked back to McDonald’s, holding each others hands and had breakfast with my friends and continued our day as if nothing bad happened. We are both smiling and he is still very sweet to me, as if we did not argue at all. After breakfast, we said goodbye to my friends and we took a cab going to the PTA meeting that is set for that morning. So that was my morning, no sleep, a lot of arguments, a lot of misfortunes, but we still manage to smile and hold each others hands and look at each other the same magic in our eyes, the same as the night before.

He has to go to work, and I have to go to the PTA meeting, and we are already at least an hour late but we still cannot seem to let go. We passed by a convenience store and bought some drinks. We practically spent, 16hours together and we still cant seem to let each other go. I convinced him to go to work and  he finally dropped me off the school, and didn’t leave my side unless I promised to see him again later that night.

Cramming Again!

Work has been awfully busy this days, I have been attending to customers all day long. Since Ramadan started, the sales people who should be attending to the walk-in-customers has almost become non-existent. Understandably because they need to preserve their energy since they don't eat nor drink all day long. So every time a customer comes in I automatically stands up and assist them while choosing their tiles. my job description as an "designer" is to design. So most of the time I am glued to my laptop as I finish a design board for a proposal, but occasionally, I am also expected to become a "sales lady", or even a "kargador" if needed. It has been very busy at the shop and the real sales ladies are always gone. So in the past week, it has been a very busy day for me. The Interior design that I am working on that should have been finished a week ago is still on going. I can barely have a 5 minute rest, or even sit on my chair the whole day. Its as if I am a crew in a fastfood chain, running from one location to the next. So here I am, cramming to finish the proposal for tomorrow 10 am meeting. I don't think I will be able to sleep at all tonight, and I stayed up late all week nights because daddy always wants to chat and see me. Whew! So got to go, and continue my work. I will be leaving you with the Living room Design board, still have to do 10 more rooms.

Prom at 30

Day 1 part 2 The 2 person that I’d like to see would be little J and daddy. So I already saw little J, its time to see daddy. That afternoon, after all the shopping, I was with little J and mama when he called. First thing he asked me was, “what are you wearing?” haha. Don’t think of any sleazy thoughts, he asked me if I am dressed appropriately because we will go to Sofitel hotel. So I was shocked, Sofitel? Why what for? Then he just told me to dress up nicely and he will meet me later. So, I went home took a shower and dressed up. Still doesn’t know what he is up to. I am thinking maybe he arranged a nice dinner date since that was one of his dreams to bring me to a nice romantic dinner, something special and fancy. I didn’t have anything to wear; I figured I don’t really have to dress up if it will be just the 2 of us. So I just wore jeans, a nice blouse and black pumps. Put on a little make up and I am all set to meet him. I don’t want him to think I put too much effort haha. Ok, so here it is. I figured I’ll just bring the car and pick him up from the office. It will be easier for me to go home after, since he cannot bring me home after. You see, up to this point because of the entire hullabaloo that happened some 7 years ago, he still cannot go to my place. So our whirlwind love story on its 10th year now is still on a ”you and me against the world” status. So I went there nervously waiting in the car, anticipating how he looks like or what is his reaction when he see me. I am expecting a bit more enthusiasm, since he practically begged me to go home to see me. Saying

“umuwe ka na please baka mapariwara ako pag hindi ka pa umuwe”.

So when he went in, I just drove and then looked at him. Well he was right, about the “mapariwara” he look terrible. As if he didn’t take care of himself while I was gone. His hair is not trimmed, he lost some weight and I can see in his eyes how terrible he has been since I left. He wasn’t lying when he said he is not ok, its as if he stopped living when I left. I left him looking like a “movie star” (of course I am exaggerating) then I came back 3 months after he now looks like a construction worker, no pun intended. So I asked him, what happened to you? He just smiled and said I miss you. Then he offered to drive, so we exchange places. He just kept on staring at me the same way I stare at him. Traffic jam all over it took us a long time to get to Sofitel. So we just sat there side by side, talking about the things that happened when we are not together, as if we didn’t know. We are talking everyday even when I was in Brunei so we still knew what was happening with each other. We drive past the places we went to and talked all about the memories; we were apart for 3 months and it fells as if it was already years. That’s also when I learned why we are going to Sofitel, we are going to attend his high school reunion. I panicked, I should have worn something nicer, I should have put on a little bit more make up. I should have worn jewelries. I panicked, and these guys are well off, from the “rich and famous”. I’m scared I will not fit in. I’ve known him for 13 years but I didn’t get to hang out with his “rich” friends before. Ok, once but that was years ago, I don’t even know if they still remember me. So we got there, I first met his best friend “P”, I met him years ago. So I am still calm that still went fine. I was right, I am under dressed. They are all wearing beautiful dresses, all made up. I felt like a 15 year old attending a junior prom, scared to death if I was wearing the right dress or the right make up. I'm so nervous, but he held my hand. He looked at me as if I am the most beautiful girl that night. So I was ok, we waited in line to register and “P” kept as company, we are chatting like he know so much about me, like an old friend. Then we went in and there are more “socialista” inside, I tried to put the most relaxed face on. He introduced me to everyone, and they smiled and a bit shocked to see me. After all these years this is the only time they met a girlfriend. A lot of them came without a date; there are just a few “couples” that attended. Then I met the other best friend “J”, unlike “P” I never met him, but to my surprise he knew me. He asked me when I came back from Brunei, he knew who I am and probably knows about our 10 yr romance. He is so accommodating, in fact everybody is. They are all so nice to me and they are looking at him as if saying “checkmate”. This is the girl that will actually tame you down; some even gave me a salute. Saying how amazed they are that this guy finally settled down. We are not yet married!!! But I guess, they know, just like how we know that this time it will be forever. So we chat, laugh, dance the night away, enjoying the company of his friends but most importantly enjoying each other’s company. It was just like prom, it was a magical night. We talked and laugh and held each other as if we are teenagers, enjoying the first dance together.

Today is my Birthday!

Although this year I'm not spending it with little J. I still choose to be happy and smile. Heck! got a message yesterday from daddy that is sweet enough to make me smile for a long time.

We never got to celebrate your birthday, but I promise you this as soon as I get there we will go on dates as if everyday is your birthday!

Last year's Birthday Wish list- success!

So in few days I'm turning another year old. So I went back and check my last year's wish list to see which actually came true.
1.I phone- nah!! no i phone, but I don't like it anymore have other priorities to consider.
2.External hard drive- check!! got it!
3.Graphite tablet- just like the I phone, I don't want this anymore, looks like I will not use it either.
4. Lose 20lbs- check! I'm not sure exactly how much I've lost but I slimmed down just enough to get my confidence back and my waistline is at least 4inches smaller. Oh! and I can wear mini skirts again!!!
5. New Environment- check! I'm in a different country now, so everything is new.
6. happy family- check! check! check! I thought this is impossible, well, I'm wrong. This is now a reality, so happy for this miracle.
7. Spend time with friends--- fail!
8. More time with little j!---fail...
9. Love!-check! check! check!
10.Peace of mind- I'd say 90% accomplished, still have a lot to worry about, but compared to last year I'm a lot better now.

6 out of 10, actually should be 8 out of 10 since I changed my mind on 1 and 3 since I don't want it anyway. On item 8 its a sacrifice that I have to do as a mom. We may be apart but this is all for her. I have to sacrifice working abroad with hopes of a better future for our family.

Choosing your Paint

Color may make or break you room. Most make a mistake of trying to choose their paint color as what they have seen on TV or on the magazine. Yes, this media are a good source of inspiration, but it is extremely tricky to choose exactly the same color as your inspirational room. Most often than not they end up having a room with a color too dull or too bright for what they expected. What most people do not consider is that this rooms as featured in TV's and magazines are designed by professionals such as Architect's and Interior designers, not too mention lighting was enhance further by a very able photographer. First things first, do not expect your room to look as great as those in magazines, especially if you do not have the extremely high budget that they used to come up with that. But, do not lose hope, we can still come up with a beautiful room even if we do not have that much money, all we need is a srpinkle of imagination and a bowl full of resourcefulness.

Lets go back to colors. First, is that you have to come up with a concept, you should know what you like and stick with it. Sure you can come up with electic design, where a lot of inspirations are rolled into one, but this is very hard to pull off. An experienced designer may have difficulty in pulling this off, much more a neophyte. So let's stick to one concept, a good basis for a design concept is your personality. If you are the laid back type, who doesn't like much clutter, it would be best to lean your design towards modern minimalist, or zen asian designs. If you are the artistic, energetic type, then a colorful more vibrant design will suit you. Lastly, if you are not sure yet, I suggest you go to the safe side, not too dull, but not too funky.

My rule of thumb is to use the half tone, this can go either way, its color but not color over all. Just a splash of it. Just a touch. Do not go over bored with the color that you might end up with a bedroom that looks like McDonalds.

If you are relying on a paint swatch, pick the 2nd tone from the darkest. So instead of choosing a vibrant red use the melon pink, just a notch from the darkest. You may still use the vibrant red, but be sure that it is just one wall or else it will be too overwhelming. Another thing is you can choose a favorite dress or bag, and use that as your basis, if you like the coordinates so much ang you have lived with it for a long time chances are it is good coordination of colors that will also look good on your wall.

Lastly have fun, if you chose the wrong color, what the heck you can paint it over.

Modern Nuetral Bedroom Designs

I am working on a new Project right now, Interior Design for a young executive. So far, what he gave me as basis is just the plan and he wanted it bright and clean. More on modern minimalist design. As color theme all he told me is that he want to keep it on the neutral tone. So far here are some of the 3D that I have made. I will have to submit a color swatch and sample pictures of the materials to be used since my software doesn't get the exact color that I wanted. Most of the 3D looks yellowish which I didn't intend to. I need a little more tweaking on this.

J & J Adventure - Father and Daughter Finally Together

Posting the pic first, I'll write the story later... be back in a few... just a bit busy...

Update: 27 July 2011

Ok, so here is the story. I went back to the Philippines for just a few days, precisely to spend time with little J and daddy. So as you can see, it was a "mission accomplished" trip.

I am so happy with everything that happened in Pinas, I would say it is something I dreamed of but didn't expect that would actually happen. Just like this picture, as you can see little J and daddy are now getting along. Finally, its just sad that I have to leave again. I know if they spend more time together they will be more closer. I just love watching them together. This is a dream that I thought will never happen. You see, its slowly becoming a reality and I am just so thankful that God gave as another chance to finally make our family complete.

Before all these, my mom and I had some misunderstanding, so I was crying the whole day. I felt devastated that even on my last day with them, she didn't spare that day to a peaceful family day. My plan is to spend that last day with Mama and little J, but since Mama is still mad at me of course that is not possible. I actually approached her that morning but she still wont talk to me, that's a long story that I'd rather skip.So change of plans.

After I spent the whole day crying, I realized that I was just wasting precious time. Time that I'd rather spend with little J. I don't want to leave with a heavy heart, I want to remember my days in Pinas as "happy times". So little J and I decided to go to SM and just spend the last few hours together happily. We hurriedly bathed and change and off we go to SM San Lazaro. Right before we left the house I received a text message from daddy, begging me to ask mama if she will allow him to send me to airport. I know its not possible (long story) so I told him to just go to SM and we just have dinner together.

So little J and I went to SM, we spent the last day same as how we spent it the first time I left. We first went to arcade and she is just so happy to get all those tickets. I just love seeing her that happy. Those smiles I will surely miss. Then after the games, daddy sent a message saying he is already in our meeting place. So little J and I went down stairs to see daddy. Before this, I talked to little J. I told her, that I wish she will not cry if she see's daddy, that if she is not comfortable with him just don't mind him and remember that its Mommy's last day and I don't want to see her cry. So, as I saw him waiting I literally run towards him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, hoping little J will do the same but didn't. Then we went to eat at Tokyo Tokyo, little J's request, she just loves to eat the tempura breading haha... just the breading. I have to peal off the Tempura, the good part is I get to eat the shrimp. During dinner, little J is still uneasy. She wont talk to daddy, just like before. Well, at least this time she is not crying. So we ate, daddy kept on talking to little J, then after a while she finally answered and soon they we're talking. First time, they actually talked to each other, little J finally respond. Then they started teasing each other, finally they are interacting with each other. Precious Moments, something that I will always keep in my heart. Then we went to Tutti Fruity and got some yogurt, here they continued to play and tease each other. They are so alike, the way they laugh, the way they talk, the way they deliver their punch lines. I am just so happy to see my family finally spend time together happily. Hopefully for days like this in the future.

Design for International School Brunei - Canteen

A very simple design for International School Brunei- Canteen. The existing facade is very simple, no design at all, just a tarp for the Signage is added. This is a low budget project so the owner just wants to spice it up a little and add something to brighten up the place. So I added a drop ceiling in wood veneer with recessed halogen lights. He originally wants some hanging lights but I think it will just add more obstructions to the existing wild wires above. So I opted to cover it up with the drop ceiling and add more lights. To add more color, I added some menu board at the top and above the window.

Day 1- Pinas Vacation

Mission Accomplished

I'm back!! Ok, I went home for a 1 week vacation and it was great. I would say "Mission Accomplished". Those few days are precious, I wish I can stay longer to mend some things up. A lot happened, something that I didn't expect but I am very glad with everything. The only thing that I want changed is my relationship with my mom. Lets just say we have some misunderstanding. I'll dedicated a whole post for this next time.

So I came back July 14, arrived a few minutes past midnight so basically that already July 15. I am so excited to see little J. In fact I am excited even just for the little things. When I saw the Makati Skyline, wow I felt home. Cant believe that I am back in Pinas again. All I was thinking was what will be little J's reaction when she see me.

I didn't see my mom right away, in fact she walked pass at me. She said she didn't recognize me. This is the only time I had a good interaction with my mom. When she fetch me from the airport, we hugged tight. I miss her, I miss my best friend. So we went home and I saw little J sleeping. I quickly woke her up, the jewelry box in my hand. She was startled to see me, but not really surprised, which is more surprising. Its as if its just normal to see me. So I hugged and kissed her tight, I didn't want to let go. After a few minutes of talking that's the time she finally realized I am really home.. maybe she thought she was just dreaming. So she started telling stories and checked the jewelry box that I brought her. So this is the start of my Pinas Adventure. I'll post the rest soon with the pictures, once I found my memory card adapter.

Shopping!!!

I am so excited to go shopping!!! Finally! I got my wish I will go shopping in Divisoria!!!I am going home! I am so excited to see little J again!!! I can't put too much exclamation marks... but if I can I'll fill this whole post with exclamation marks that's how excited  I am.

Meragang Interior Design Board

Online business

Since I recently figured out that this site actually attracts more readers about home improvement articles. Writing blog about architecture, interior design and decorating can actually help me with my design online business. I have to do a feasibility study on this one first, I have so much more to learn. Which articles are being read which are not generating traffic, so I have been reading a few article about design, decorating and try to check how they composed the articles that will not sound to technical nor to artsy. So this is one of the articles about decorating. It talks about choosing the right color for the bedroom. Brunei has a very laid back culture, so choosing the right color for a bedroom is very important as you can see in my previous post about my recent project. The color scheme is very simple, as well as the interior design itself, but I received a lot of complements from this project. The client and the rest are saying that its the best they have seen so far, even saying that it is the new "standard" for housing in Brunei, the rest of the new housing development should be at par with my design.

I will be scanning some more articles from this site, and I'll be back with to tell you about it.

Successful Interior Design Project

This is my very first project in Brunei, I am very thankful that it was very successful. The client and the rest of the Housing Development Department loved what I've done. I'll share the pictures first and tell you more about it later.

Updating my Blog

So far this is how my header reads

This is all about the sweet.. pretty.. and most of the time naughty 2 yr old girl Jea. Lots of anecdotes about her everyday adventure. All her first.. some are funny.. some are terrifying...but most are cute stuff and treasured memories...

needless to say this is already obsolete. First, my daughter is now 6 years old. Wow! I have to take a deep breath after realizing that, that means this blog has been in existence for at least 4 years already. This definitely not an
SEO blog, heck I only started this blog to get through my depression. Safe to say, I am not depressed anymore, in fact I am so happy with how life is treating me for the past months. There are a lot of reasons to be happy now, and I am so thankful for all the blessings. So now I'm back I have new wonderful stories to tell, I don't know much about blogging anymore so I need some
SEO tips from CqWen.

Sneak Peak of the Upcoming Posts

Design Board for the first Project

Cousins Visit

Traveling in Brunei

Brunei Culture

Speedboat ride!!

As you can see I have a lot of stories to tell, so keep going back to read my adventures in Brunei!

Web Directories

I don't know how to attract more traffic to my sites, I am sure that there are a lot of new ways to make your blog known to the world wide web.  I think I have to relearn a lot of things about blogging, page rank, traffic and SEO marketing.  What I noticed is that a lot are using social networking to advertise their blogs and websites that is why facebook and a lot of other social networking sites are being congested with this "post". Well, one way of attracting more traffic and hopefully more readers are by registering in a business web directory


This is a website composed of business listing that aims to give more exposure to your business. Lets face it in the world, there is a lot of advertising, not to mention a lot of money that you will have to shell out to make your business known. That is why more and more businesses are taking advantage of the cheapest advertisement with the best exposure to the world which it through websites and internet marketing. This is very cheap yet very powerful way to make your presence known to the world wide web and therefore to the world.

Blogger Newbie

I've been out of the blogging world for so long, that it feels like I am a newbie. Heck, I dont even know how to go around the new blogger format. I like it, I have to relearn navigating through it though, but I like it. It is user friendly and gives more information about my blogs traffic, visitors, referrers etc.

This way we know more about our own blogs. Its interesting that the post that is most visited on this site http:www.sweetpretynaughty.blogspot.com is the glam nails- design board, and rest house design which means this site actually gets more visit for the design related post and not the parenting, blogging or mommy stuff which this blog is intended for. I also have another blog that talks more about design, but for some reason it doesn't get much attention. So now, I know that I have to write more design stuff here also and hopes to get more attention and ultimately more traffic, therefore higher page rank. 


by the way, can somebody help  me take out the "read more" on my posts? its easy to do it before, but with the new blogger settings.. I'm lost.. please help.....

PR2- Time to go back to blogging

Ok, I know I said that several times already, but I have reasons now why I will blog again. First I got a PR2, cool!  I don't know why Google is nice to give be a good page rank when I am not active to blogging anymore, but for whatever reason I'd like to thank Google for raising my page rank.   Second reason is that many things happened, for one, I am not in the Philippines anymore. I've been in Brunei for 3 months already so I have so many stories to tell. I'll try to update more soon.

The Great Reveal

I have written few post about little J's father here but no pictures was posted. Our whirlwind romance is so complicated that it is actually more dramatic than those teleserye plot. If I were to write to Maalaala Mo Kaya, it will not even fit to a 1 episode show. Things are just too complicated. Life has so much twist and turns. Our love story started with a "premonition", I didn't believed it but I just realized that all of it actually happened. I dont have any regrets, our love story has been on and off for 10years now, we've been separated a lot of times and a lot means  "a lot" of reasons. Its just too complicated. We've been separated for 6 years, and for some miracle, for reasons that even the two of us cant explain. We got back together. I am keeping my fingers crossed, than even if we are forced to separate again because I am going to Brunei, soon, very soon we will be together again and we will get to say " and they live happily ever after". So guys this is how he looks like.. read the story on sweetytots "father and daughter" post.

Tarot- Ten of Cups

We all want a happy family right? I think, that is my greatest dream, to finally have a happy family. When I was younger I am fortunate enough to experience this, or maybe my mom was just to good in keeping the real status of our life back then. Well, to give credits to my parents, yes I would say that I still had a lot of happy family moments, but those days are long gone. I don't even know how it happened but everything is different now, and we are far from having a HAPPY FAMILY.

I went to a tarot reading session this afternoon. This is what I got for future when my cards are being read when I asked the question "Will "daddy" follow in Brunei eventually? The ten of cups

 

The future position indicates that your emotional contentment is coming. The Ten of Cups is a card that is the natural climax of the entire Tarot suit of Cups and so it functions well in the future position as a reminder that your goals in life are worth pursuing no matter what the current struggle may be delivering. Source

The illustration it self shows a "Happy Family". What a joy to see this. This is exactly what I had to see. A dream come true.  I know I may not get those branded clothes, or designer bags, or all those expensive things, but none of those matter. What matter most to me is that I have a happy and contented family. We went through a lot, its 10 years of struggle, and even up to now, our love story is still struggling. But, I will not give up, especially if this is the future that awaits us. This made me more hopeful, and I know, in time I will have that long time dream. To have a happy family.

Ten of Cups (Satiety): Fulfillment and joy in life and love. Feeling peace, tranquility, and contentment in friends and family. Taking delight in one's good fortune.

Tarot Reading

I went to POEA today, supposedly to process my OEC, but I was only given an appointment date and was asked to just come back. So I went to Robinsons Galleria instead and opted to consult a Tarot Reader.

I would say I was impressed on what came out of that consultation: (Here are the questions and the answers)
1.  Will I be fine in Brunei - according to the cards I will be fine, in fact I will be successful in my career. I will have peace of mind and I just have to relax and just let everything go to its proper place. I should not worry too much and start anew.

2.  Will my love ones be fine here - Yes, they will be alright, I should not worry and them they will be fine.

3.  Will he follow me in Brunei - she said he is still not sure as of this moment. He still has a lot of things in his mind. He is still not sure, and will have to settle all those things first.

4.  Will he eventually follow and reunite our family - Yes! he just have to settle some things and reflect on his own. He needs to prove something first, to my family, me and himself. Its cool the last card actually was a card of the happy family. Such a coincidence right?

5. I asked if he and little J will get along - this is very frustrating for me. I mean little J wont even get a long with her real father? ( I will write a different post about this)  Yes they will, eventually little J will be the one to make her relationship with her father better. Sooner or later, she will realize that her father is a good person and he loves her so much.

6. I asked about the other guy - there is another suitor, who still patiently waits for "daddy" and me to split, this I was really shocked at how specific the cards showed what is happening. 2 cards was about money, 1 card is about discontentment.  According to the reader he will try to woe me with money, although he is a good guy and I may be perfectly ok with him as well, but there is just something that is lacking. Something that will he can never give me.

This experience gave me a little bit more peace of mind. The past few days made me anxious of what will happen. I am too scared of what will happen. I would say that the answers are just what I needed and I would say truthful. Of course, its not 100% sure, but if peace of mind is what it gave me because of this experience then that is helpful enough to ease my mind.
What about you guys? would you consider consulting a Tarot Reader?

Overwhelmed

I have so much to say.. a lot has been happening with my life. I am so overwhelmed, both good and bad. I'd like to think about the positive things though it also hurts that smiles also come with sadness.  A lot of momentous events happened in the past 2 months. I don't even know how to feel about it. Its like everything is on a "wait and see" phase. One special event was last friday March 26, it was little J's graduation. Im glad to be present on this event, I thought I will not be here to witness it. Then March 27, was Mama's birthday and I also have a lot of things to tell about that, not about the birthday but about little J's father.

I am leaving, soon, so soon that I really don't want to. I feel like I am going to blow. I have too much emotions, I am excited, anxious, sad, scared, all at the same time.

I don't want to leave.

I don't want to leave little J, nor her dad. It is sad to reunite after 6 long years and then we still have to part again. Its as if we are always separated for reasons that we cannot even understand why or how. One thing that I promised myself, this time I will not let go. No matter what. It is so hard to leave. I don't want to leave, but I have to. I am doing this for little J, for me, for "daddy" and for our family.  Hopefully we will all be reunited after a few months.

Brunei, here I come!

I haven't been blogging for a very long time. A lot of things has happened, although a bit problematic I am looking forward to a another life changing event. I am leaving, for work abroad. Hopefully I can leave in a few weeks, there are just a few documents that I need to finish processing. My heart is telling me to stay, but I know I have to go. There are a lot of things to consider. First, I didn't know that I will spend this much with the documents and all. The medical robs me off so much, it's just too damn expensive. After the medical I am off to get my working visa from the Brunei Embassy (which I will do this afternoon) this is the easiest part if you ask me. Then off to POEA for the other OFW stuff that I have to process or else they will not let me leave. So with all those confusing, expensive and very tiring stuff to do I still have other things to deal with.

The first thing that I am very worried about is Moolah, I have to get some moolah. I wasn't prepared with all the expenses at all, when I was hired I thought they will take care of all the expenses, now I understood that I will shoulder everything even the airfare, Wahhhhh!!!! So there, I was surprised with how much I need to spend. Then, there are also personal stuff that I worry about, my parents and I are having problems as well. Then little J, and little J's father.

I don't worry about little J, she is coming with me to Brunei so at least I will not be worried about missing her, or how is she doing while I am gone. That is the main reason why I took this job offer, is that I can bring her along. The story about her father and I deserves another post, maybe even 7 or 8, haha. There are a lot of things that happened, which I am very thankful for. To make it short is that, we reunited after 6 long years of being apart. Some say its fate, some say its a miracle, some say its divine intervention... haha. Well, I am just glad to have him back and "happy" is such an understatement to express what I feel. I'll try to post more soon.