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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Where is Home?

Yesterday, it was Kristo’s (Owie’s kid) turn to throw tantrums and cry. Usually its Jea who always cry in the morning as we drop the kids to school. But this time, Jea was behaved while Kristo was the one who is crying his hearts out. Owie had to stay and call Vic to come to school just to calm Kristo. When I got back around lunch time, to have lunch with Jea, she told me that Kristo was crying because “Pagod ago, dami bahay, dapat si mommy, daddy and lola isang house lang “ I’m tired, we have so many houses, Mommy , daddy and lola should stay in one house only. Apparently, he got tired of going to and fro mommy’s house and daddy’s house.

In my mind, im still lucky that Jea doesn’t have to go through the same situation. She will not get tired, she doesn’t have a mommy’s house and a daddy’s house. All she have is one home, Mommy’s. She will not get confused which house to go home to. Which parent treats her better. Since she never get to see her father, it’s a little simpler that way.

I would love her to know her father, even if everybody else thinks otherwise. For me, I still cant a father’s love, even if I give my all. It has to come from her father. But that is just a dream, I must admit that I long dreamed for her to play with her father. To be carried on his back, to be held in a ride or simply to by cuddled by him. Forget all about me, all I want is for her to experience all the love she can get. From me, my family , daddy and his family.

Ever since this happened to me, that’s my dream. Forget all the other dreams that I yearned for from way before. This has been my prayers from the time Jea came in to my life in this situation. I prayed for that for years before I sleep, on our trip to Antipolo Church, MAnaog Church and to every other church we went to.

But, I don’t know why, but I slowly let go. It feels as if I’ve exerted every effort I could, prayed to all the saints and churches. Somehow, im already contended of what we have. Going through that tantrums with Kristo made me see that Jea is ok. She’s not affected at all. I know, by now she already know about, “mommy” and “daddy”. She knows and feels that she is not the same with other kids, but she is ok. Not even coping up, its just the way it is. At least she doesn’t have to deal with, who’s house is she going home to. Or she doesn’t have to deal with her daddy’s girlfriend, or mommy’s boyfriend. She has me. The way I see it, she only needs me, nothing more and she will be happy.

41 comments:

Sherry said...

I know you are doing your best

Sherry said...

trying be mom and dad same time

Sherry said...

she is lucky to have you

Sherry said...

I have seen parent with kids but they dont love their gal

Sherry said...

they only love boys

Sherry said...

its sad but its true

Sherry said...

why they compare the child is not fair

Sherry said...

some children from broken family and still doing well

Sherry said...

some do blame their parents

Sherry said...

you know even grown up kids will not like see parents divorce

Sherry said...

I read before that kids can't handle it

Sherry said...

even they are 18 yr old but they want parents together

Sherry said...

I wonder how the other can do it

Sherry said...

like celebrities

Sherry said...

how they handle it

Sherry said...

maybe thats why some not wanting have kids

Sherry said...

famous singer I see in tv she do not want kid because she love the man so much

Sherry said...

he was divorce with a gal

Sherry said...

both singers too

Sherry said...

I dont think you know them

Sherry said...

they are hong kong singers

Jes said...

i dunno what to say bout this post =(

Jes said...

but i think jea is very intelligent nmn....i think she understand!!!

Jes said...

thats very hrd for other children you know...

Jes said...

youre lucky that you hve a smart kid =) ....

Jes said...

....who can easily understnd your situation =)

Jes said...

honestly i wanted to ask you bout your love story...

Jes said...

but i think its kinda personl na

Jes said...

but if you want to tell your story i would love to hear it =)

Jes said...

i was just wndering where is jea's father now? =)

Jes said...

i think jea has a lolo nmn..=)

Jes said...

or tito?

Jes said...

and a super loving mom!!!!

Jes said...

i think jea have nothing else to wish pa

Jes said...

she already has everything

Jes said...

as long as you love your daughter so much i think wla n syng ibng ha2npin pa!

Sherry said...

Jes is right she is smart gal

Sherry said...

Jea very clever !!

Sherry said...

i think is where we find comfy and stay long for life

Sherry said...

home sweet home is what I always think about

Sherry said...

even if going to places like holiday.. home is best