Without a Father..

I have kept this blog for months already but never wrote about the sad things in my life. Maybe I dont want anybody else to know.. Maybe I dont want to accept the reality or maybe I just dont want to talk about it. But this is a blog, and a blog is a journal, that tells about who I am, my daughter and everything about our life.

I was forced to face the truth about this situation when a cousin of mine posted and asked this question?

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5230140076443280262&postID=184835397925440851&isPopup=true
Hi Jaypee,
You seem to have everything going so well in your life. Even if I haven't connected with you for a long time, I can say that you're a strong woman. I'm proud of you and what you have become. Tell you the truth, I was shocked to see all these pictures of your daughter. Couldn't believe that you're raising her on your own. Way to go girl! Just for my own sake, whatever happened? I mean, I want to know, why you end up having the child without the father? Does he have any contact with you now? Just curious... take care and God Bless. Regards to your precious family, you're all been blessed! Love and miss you all,
Ate Edith, Kuya Jun & boys

What happened? As I look back, I dont really know why this happened.. There are several reasons. Its either
a. My parents especially mama doesnt like him, that he is a not good guy, and they my parents chose to keep me awayt from him as far as they can.(this is what "HE" would like to believe)
b. That He, the father is just a coward and wouldnt take his responsiblity. (this is what I dont want to believe)
c. That even if he wanted to take responsibility now, its not possbile anymore coz its already all messed up. (this is the truth)
d. That this is just how its meant to be. I know its complicated and really.. really hard.. But we are all ok, just as it is. Although it would be better if she has her real father.. I know that Jea can feel that love from Papa already.. he may not be her real Papa, but she gets all the love she needs from a father. Sometimes i think she gets soooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH OF IT. But that's ok she deserves all the love she can get. (this is a fact)

I think the answer is all of the above. I can come up so many many other reasons, member of my family and people who know me, have their own opinions too. But this is the simple truth.