Turning 3! part 1

We were supposed to go to Lamesa Ecopark but we opted to go to Manila Zoo instead since Papa suggested it and I would like to give importance to what he say. I dont know if he knows it but, I decided to follow his suggestions rather than to pursue the "birthday picnic" that I have planned and ready for Jea's birthday. I told myself, we could have much more bonding moments with Jea every weekend. But on her birthday which I'm sure the Papa will not miss, I want her to spend this day with Papa, on whatever way he wants to celebrate it. Although he missed the Lunch with us, I hope he had fun with the few hours we spent together. I know Jea did. It’s actually a good suggestion; Jea is looking forward to it. She's excited to see the animals. Hope there was a lot more.

Manila Zoo is a lot different from what i remembered it to be. It’s also a little nostalgic to go back there. It’s as if remembering my childhood. It’s not so clear though, but i remembered Papa pointing to the Elephant and I was as excited as what I saw in Jea. I remember him giving directions on how to pose as he took our pictures. I remember feeding the giraffe (I wish Jea can do that too). I remember the orangutan, yes, its the same orangutan that we saw when we are little. Its evident, the orangutan looks so old already; makes me pity him for staying in that cage all those years. I also remember that there was a lion, which we didn’t see on our last visit. There were about 3 or 4 tigers in a pit, but now they are all alone in their respective "homes". What awed me was the arapaima, (huge fish). I don’t remember seeing it in Manila Zoo. I only it this year in Oceans park, on Mama's birthday a few months ago. Its huge, even bigger than the one in Ocean Park.

The day after

June 7, 2005
2:00 p.m.
i tried to stand up and went to the bathroom to pee..its still too painful..to walk..
to pee..to do anything.. but i wanted to walk so i can see you
4:00 p.m.
..I went down to see you.. im with mama and papa.. like me they
are so eager to see you..and as the nurse opened the curtains..

...THERE U ARE...

this is the first time that i got to see you clearly, because i was
still sedared in the delivery room when they brought you to me. I wanted to jump up and down. I wanted to scream..I wanted to cry..IM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU..im sitting on the wheelchair and I cant see you since the window is too
high. I was pulling myself up to see you, eventhough it hurts. I cant barely move. I gave all my strenght just to have a glimpse of you. We told the nurse that i wanted to feed you and were told to wait. We waited for 15mins or so,but for me its like years. I wanted to see you. I wanted to hold you. I wanted to meet my angel.

Meeting An Angel

june 7, 2005
..at first attempt I can feel you coming down..2nd..they already saw your head
..crowning,, dr.arroyo is helping me push.. he is literally pushing you out of my
tummy.. I got bruises because of that.. on the 3rd push.. "
HOORRAYYY!!!YOU CAME OUT!!!..at exactly 1:56 a.m...
1:58 placenta is out and you are being cleaned up..I didn't hear you cry that's why I got worried..I ask dra why and she said you are sleeping..maybe the pain killer also affected you that's why you came out asleep..
2:00 a.m.
..the nurse brought you to me to see. Still I hasn't heard you cry, but seeing you is so overwhelming. I wanted to take you in my arms..i wanted to bring you closer but my hands are strapped..they are still cleaning me up.. you are SO BEAUTIFUL..
I wasn't that alert yet coz of the drugs that's why I didn't get to really look at you..and I only saw you for a few seconds..as soon as she walked out of the room I heard you cry..in my mind I want her to take you back. She wants her mommy.I smiled
when i heard you cry, as if telling myself..she cried! she’s ok. She just wants her mommy!!Everytime I hear you cry I smile. I wanted to shout,did u hear that?! THAT’S MY BABY!2:30 a.m.
I was wheeled to the recovery room and all I can think of was YOU..I was
praying to God..telling Him how thankful I am for having you..for giving you to me
(I'm crying now as I'm writing this) I was thanking HIM for keeping you and me safe
through out the delivery thanking him that he let you live...even with all the heartache we’ve been through. Now I know its all worth it..I love you so much baby. that I wanted to cry. Just thinking about you overwhelms me.
4:30 a.m.
I was sent to the room to continue my rest..the epidural still has effect that’s why I don't feel any pain yet.. Mama is waiting for me..we just went
back to sleep after telling her of how you were born...
6:00 a.m.
I woke up and mama is already awake..we talked some more about you,,I'm so happy about her reaction. The epidural is wearing off at around 10am..i can already
feel the pain of the epitome. I was being such a pain in the a**..being so difficult..but mama is trying all her best to attend to my need..she is so caring..now I know why..coz SHE LOVES ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU..
...dra came to see me at lunch time to see how I am. She lifted the “flat-in-bed” order

Part 1 The day you were Born

The day you were Born

Its two nights left before Jea turns 3. I cant believe it. Its that fast. Three years... three years... It think its about time to write my experience on that day... 3 years ago.


june 6, 2005
3:00 a.m.
...my back hurts and i cant seem to find a confortable position to sleep..I’ve been rolling and turning all night long...
4:45 a.m.
..mama woke up to prepare for work.. my back still hurts but i didnt pay
to it.. thinking it will go away.. she left at 5:15 a.m.
6:00 a.m.
...i transfered to the room thinking I will feel better lying on bed and went
went back to sleep
8:00 a.a.
...I woke up still feeling the pain, that’s when I started thinking maybe “THIS IS IT!!!!”i got excited and started observing everything. Then I got up and ate breakfast.
9:15 a.m.
I decided to take a walk to fasten the process since it has been the same since dawn.. I’m expecting to feel the pain to gradually get stronger.. I really wanted you to be born so I went to take a walk

10:00 a.m.
...still there was no sign that it will happen any sooner. Mama called up Jing to tell her to stand by in case I went into labor. Now Im back at home I went on to clean the house and do the laundry.
11:45 a.m.
..done with all the chores.I took a break and ate my lunch, I went off to sleep and
take a rest since I’m not feeling any signs of labor yet.
2:43 p.m.
I woke up from my nap and went to pee.. I discovered that I have spotting and immediately I decided to go to the hospital.. I called Dra. Murakami to let her know of my situation. She expected me to report to her about it..I wanted to wait for mama and kuya to fetch me but mama insisted that I go with Jing to the hospital as soon as I can..
3:30 p.m.
JIng fetch me up and we went to the hospital. Im not afraid at all. Im so happy that I can finally meet you.. That I can see how you look like.

I’m so excited!!!

4:02 p.m.
..we arrived at the alabang med and i am still as calm as can be..I went to the
info desk to look for Glo as Dra. instructed. They told me to go to the E.R. and
wait.
4:38 p.m.
..mama arrived at the hospital looking so woried, so i relayed to her the doctor’s
assessment. I was on the phone talking to the nurse when she arrived,we we’re instructed to go home since we may have to wait for a long time before I actually gave birth..
5:34 p.m.
..we are now back at Sta.Rosa waiting for me to go into labor. I just lay on the couch the whole time, observing the contractions. Its gradually increasing in pain, but I stayed relax and even ate dinner.
9:00 p.m.
..we decided to go back to the hospiatl since its really painful already and the contractions is 5 minutes apart.
9:00 p.m.
We arrived at alabang med the 2nd time.. this thime Dra. Murakami is already waiting for us. She examined me and to my dismay, she declared that its only 2cm open..still a long way to go, and she told me that the pain ive been feeling is only 20%. I got worried a little knowing the pain will get more stronger, but Im not afraid. I'm more anxious to see you.
9:48 p.m.
we left alabng med to go to Las Pinas Med..we arrived there at around 10:15pm. Mama is fixing my admittance and we panicked a little when we learned that we dont have enough money for deposit, so kuya left to withraw some more money.
10:45 p.m.
..we are officially admitted.. in minutes, a nurse fetch me to go to the labor room. at this point the pain is much stronger but im still relaxed im being comforted
with the thought that this will be over soon.9 months of waiting is over. We can finally move on.I told myself I can do this. Just a little bit more and its over.
11:30 p.m.
..i went on to move my bowel..shaved..strapped with monitor and all..at this time dra is in the labor room observing my progress
12:15 a.m.
..i was given novane to help me relieve the pain.. but its too painful already that even with the pain killers i can still feel so much pain..i remain as brave..i wanted this to be over soon. So i just lay there in pain. Waiting for the anesthesiologist.
1:20 a.m.
..i was wheeled to the delivery room..i got scared..the anesthesciologist hasnt arrived yet. I thought I was going to give birth without anesthesia..at 9 cm..Iwent to the whole labor without anesthesia. Its really painful but im beariing it all..
1:30 a.m.
..finallly..dr.arroyo arrived..at this time I cant compose myself anymore I started screaming telling him to give me the epidural at once.. and he just made a joke out of me. The gang are all in and this is really it!!
Im giving birth,they are in a very relax ang joyous atmosphere. I started to feel the effect of the epidural after 20 mins.by this time Im relaxed myself and I even joked around with them. They are kidding around that you will come out before
2am..dra is very eager to go home..I cant feel the contractions anymore but i can already feel you coming out..honestly i cant assess what i felt. I was excited but at the same time scared.

This is exactly how it happened. I am fortunate enough to keep the notes i wrote 3 years ago, almost right after the birth thats why this is really accurate. For those who are just about to be moms this might scare you. But believe me, everything is worth-it. Some may even say this has too much information. I didnt edit it. It is exactly how I wrote it to preserve the emotions of the past. This will also be kept inside my Memory BOx

My memory box

I watched Indiana Jones last night and i really loved it. Jea cant come with us because she will get scared of the loud sound effects. I'm a little nostalgic because Indiana Jones is a part of my childhood. I watch all 4 of the installments. All in different medium in Betamax, VHS, tv(on replay) and now in the movie house. Made me realize that this in one of the things that I'd like to share to my daughter. All the 4 movies dates a part of my childhood, and a part of history. Something that she may never experience. Something that she may never see. So i thought id like to buy dvd's of all 4 Indiana Jones movies and save it for later when shes old enough not to be scared. I figured i can make a Memory Box where I can keep all the treasures in my generation to share to her. Id like to watch all the dvd's with her and tell her what i felt some 20 or more years before. Its something that I will cherish and share to her on her generation.

I'm pretty sure 15 years from now it will be a lot different, as different from my parents. Hopefully this will explain so much more to her of what I've been through in my generation. Hopefully this will be a link for the two of us. Hopefully this will give a better understanding and appreciation of the past for me and for her.



So to all of you.. id like to start a tag. The Memory Box tag. Think of something that you treasure about your childhood, of your past that you would like to share with your kids. I'm sure it will be fun to reminisce.

Im tagging : swirlbaby,

The first item in my memory box:

Indiana Jones DVD's