Thursday, February 5, 2009

My Shopaholic Confession

Hi my name is JP and I'm a Shopaholic.

I remember going to the mall and fitting a lot, and
I mean a lot of clothes on. We we're in high school then and my partner in crime is my bestfriend Owie. We would go from one shop to the other, trying on shoes, skirts, blouse and other accessories. After all the fitting we will put the clothes back, hang it neatly and walk away dreaming we actually bought it. Back then, we don't have money for shopping, oh come to think about it, even now we still don't have money for it. We are just depending on what our parents would give us for allowance, and even though we tried to save some our "lifetime" savings is still not enough to buy that Gucci bag that we are drooling on.
I had a little taste of "fashion" since I was once a ramp model. I was sixteen then and I so love the cat walk. I love everything about it, the lights, the clothes, the shoes, the drama of it all. It's a different high when I go out from backstage and o my walk, it is as if I am a different person. All glamed up, with full make up on, sometimes even wigs. I felt like I am the most gorgeous person on Earth. Back stage, I'm nervous thinking of all the horrible accidents that might happen, but as soon as I walked out of that stage, all the worries disapear. I'm so confident every time I walk, my agent said I got the aura, the pizzaz of a Supermodel. All of this made me even more of a Shopaholic. The wonderful creations of fashion designers are like gems for me. I love it, I love the go-see, I love the fitting, rehearsals and of course the actual show. The only thing I hated about modelling is the other models, they can really be mean. Even though I am earning a little with my modelling stint, I wasn't able to really splurge for shopping, I believe the Shopaholic in me has been restricted, because after a year of all this glamour I was forced to stop modelling. My mom doesn't like me going into bars and going home at 3am, for her I was just a little girl. So earning stop, the glamour stop and the Shopaholic in was suppressed.

Because of this, I promised my self that after college, once I start working again and earning my own money I well let out the Shopaholic in me and shop I did. Too bad, I didn't have the model figure by this time, but I still managed to shop beautiful clothes for my self. I remember saving up for a Php3000 snake skinned 3 inch pumps in pencil stilletos. I still have it and kept it all this years. But sadly, now that I am a mom I cannot splurge on clothes anymore. My top priority is my daughter. Instead of designer bags, I'd rather spend it on Preschool tuition. Instead of stilletos, I'm saving up for a Baby Alive Doll. These are the realitoes of being a mom. From the time I became one everything about me changed. It's not what I want, but what I can give. It's not just my dreams but her dreams. It doesn't matter if I gained 50lbs and cannot even dare to put on those stilletos because of the fear of ruining the shoe because I am just to heavy for it. It doesn't matter if I've lost all the pizzaz and the glamour, what matters now is everytime I see my daughter smile I feel a different kind of high. It feels like I am the most gorgeous woman in her eyes, and I don't even have to wear make-up. I love all the glamour of being a ramp model, but I love all the love of being a mom. I unleash the shopaholic in me sometimes, and I still walk like a ramp model even when I am just walking down the street for a leisurely walk in the park. The "fashionista" in me is still there, just like the "shopaholic" in me, wanting to be unleashed. From time to time, I still go our with my fab friends, have coffee and do a little shopping, the only difference is that, this time we are in the children's area trying to fit all those fabulous clothes for our children. We plan to Catch "Confessions of a Shopaholic"in Cinemas on February 18, 2009!

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